You may think it is not a big deal, but it certainly is to me. I was hoping to hear from him last night but he didnt call because he was extemley busy.......but get this...I missed his call by like 10 seconds, because I was in the GD laundry room. I was coming down the hall and I heard our phone ring and I picked it up on the last ring but by then it was too late because the voicemail got to it before I did.
Now this is going to sound completly lame. Because I missed his call by mere seconds I sat down and cried like a baby. I guess that it is evident that I really wanted to talk to him. Even more, I want to see him. It has only been like a week a day or something in total so far, but I just miss him so much. He left a message though and said that he was going to try to call me tomorrow night. Too bad he wasn't coming home tomorrow night instead. Two more nights.
I dont know if I can handle it!
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Feelin a little bit better
In a couple of more days Chris will be back and I am very much looking forward to it. I know he has only been gone for like two weeks, and I figured the more times he went away, the more I would get used to it. Well, this isn't particularily the case. I think the more he goes away, the more I think about how lonely I am going to be, because I already know what I go through, and how down in the dumps I get. I SHOULD be used to it. It SHOULD get easier......I SHOULD NOT be so moody and not want to do anything while he is away(if that makes sense), but I never feel that way!
I heard from him the other night, which felt like it took forever to hear from him. I had been anticipating his call for like three nights...at least. And when that phone rang Saturday night, I felt so relieved, because I was worried.....you know...him bein in the middle of the ocean...weather...all that not so great stuff to worry about! And I was already worrying about the usual garbage I worry about.....WHICH I REALLY NEED TO STOP!!! I thought he was goin to be home Thursday but he told me it will be on Friday, and he may have duty. I was hoping to find out by tonight but I guess he was super busy (like he said he was going to be) so I hopefully I will hear from him Thursday, on my next night off.
Yes, I finally had a day off. And I decorated the apartment. The stupid tape didnt stick the best. I was not very impressed with it. But in the longrun, it looked ok with what I had to work with. This Halloween is going to be really different. I am so used to decorating the porch back home, and givin out treats. This year, I will most likely be working! Boo on that!
For some strange reason something just popped into my head that someone said to me at work the other night. They knew that I was waiting for Chris to come home and she said "It must get lonely all the time." and I agreed with her, and then she asked "Why dont you move back home?" I told her that I didn't want to do that because I loved Chris too much and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, so him being away is something I have to get used to.
I have to go back to work tomorow. But at least I dont have 6 days straight...for now anyway...as far as I know...I wonder if I will get a weekend day off?
Probably not. Knowin my durty luck with schedules.
Well I should go now. Its late and I should get in bed. Hope my decorations dont fall down during the night. Peace!!
I heard from him the other night, which felt like it took forever to hear from him. I had been anticipating his call for like three nights...at least. And when that phone rang Saturday night, I felt so relieved, because I was worried.....you know...him bein in the middle of the ocean...weather...all that not so great stuff to worry about! And I was already worrying about the usual garbage I worry about.....WHICH I REALLY NEED TO STOP!!! I thought he was goin to be home Thursday but he told me it will be on Friday, and he may have duty. I was hoping to find out by tonight but I guess he was super busy (like he said he was going to be) so I hopefully I will hear from him Thursday, on my next night off.
Yes, I finally had a day off. And I decorated the apartment. The stupid tape didnt stick the best. I was not very impressed with it. But in the longrun, it looked ok with what I had to work with. This Halloween is going to be really different. I am so used to decorating the porch back home, and givin out treats. This year, I will most likely be working! Boo on that!
For some strange reason something just popped into my head that someone said to me at work the other night. They knew that I was waiting for Chris to come home and she said "It must get lonely all the time." and I agreed with her, and then she asked "Why dont you move back home?" I told her that I didn't want to do that because I loved Chris too much and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, so him being away is something I have to get used to.
I have to go back to work tomorow. But at least I dont have 6 days straight...for now anyway...as far as I know...I wonder if I will get a weekend day off?
Probably not. Knowin my durty luck with schedules.
Well I should go now. Its late and I should get in bed. Hope my decorations dont fall down during the night. Peace!!
Friday, October 13, 2006
I just dont have it in me
Sooo...two days later and I dont feel any better. In fact, I feel worse....much worse. Work has got me so emotionally low it isnt even funny. Last week and the week before I was feelin so good about things you know, my name was picked for the billboard, I was doing a good job, was starting to feel a little more comfortable with it (now mind you, this didnt make me like the job any more...but at least I wasnt going to work with the same defeatist attitude.)
This week on the other hand, has been so bad. Theres been stuff going on that I just dont feel like rehashing on here....lets just say I feel like I totally screwed up bigtime. Not the greatest feeling in the world to have. Ever since Tuesday, when I walked in there, I just felt like walking out again and never looking back. Maybe the fact that C is gone has really got me down in the dumps, but I just dont like my job. Its the same shit, different smell. And now with all this shit....holy geez I could cry and bang my head against the wall...maybe THAT will make me feel better. And to think I only have to work for the next four days. I wish I could just quit, but I need the money way too much.
How am I going to get out of feeling this way? Oh I know..... get a better job and have C right here by my side.
Im going to go now. got to face another day of this! Boooo!
Peace
This week on the other hand, has been so bad. Theres been stuff going on that I just dont feel like rehashing on here....lets just say I feel like I totally screwed up bigtime. Not the greatest feeling in the world to have. Ever since Tuesday, when I walked in there, I just felt like walking out again and never looking back. Maybe the fact that C is gone has really got me down in the dumps, but I just dont like my job. Its the same shit, different smell. And now with all this shit....holy geez I could cry and bang my head against the wall...maybe THAT will make me feel better. And to think I only have to work for the next four days. I wish I could just quit, but I need the money way too much.
How am I going to get out of feeling this way? Oh I know..... get a better job and have C right here by my side.
Im going to go now. got to face another day of this! Boooo!
Peace
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
I get like this every time
Yeh, Chris is gone for another few days.....he's back for a week then gone for six more...weeks I mean.
I knew that it was going to be like this when we started going out, and really, I totally understand it.....it's his job, and with jobs, there are certain things you gotta do that may be not that great. I just dont like the lonliness at all. It's so depressing. And maybe I am totally dependent on him, but nobody in this entire universe would understand how I feel for him. I love him with my entire heart and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I think after the next long trip, it will be the last one for a while. He told me that as far as he knows there will be no long trips during the winter. I hope he's right.
The month that he was home was great. We got a few camping trips in. The last one we went on was this past weekend. It was Chris, me, Angie, Shawn, Jackie and Todd. And I got drunk. And paid for it the next day. Oh my did I ever pay. Word of advice, if you are going to toast weiners over the campfire, at least make sure they are not charcoal black. Yeeeeeeeeh. Im not going to elaborate.
Chris and I also celebrated one year of being together. It is so amazing how time flies so fast. But as I said earlier in this blog, I love this man with my entire heart and nothing is going to change that. Isn't love great?
Work is blaaaah. I have been working there for a while and I just can't bring myself to liking it. I have tried so hard and I am telling you, it ain't easy. I feel more comfortable with it, I just don't like it. And I don't think I ever will. Even if the hours got amazingly better, I still won't like it. The job is just not for me. Its tooooo repititious.
Anyway, I will hopefully keep up to date with this thing a little bit more...I know I say that all the time....I get so lazy and moody
Guess I should go now. I got someone messaging me on msn and I spose I should go talk to them.
Peace!!
I knew that it was going to be like this when we started going out, and really, I totally understand it.....it's his job, and with jobs, there are certain things you gotta do that may be not that great. I just dont like the lonliness at all. It's so depressing. And maybe I am totally dependent on him, but nobody in this entire universe would understand how I feel for him. I love him with my entire heart and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I think after the next long trip, it will be the last one for a while. He told me that as far as he knows there will be no long trips during the winter. I hope he's right.
The month that he was home was great. We got a few camping trips in. The last one we went on was this past weekend. It was Chris, me, Angie, Shawn, Jackie and Todd. And I got drunk. And paid for it the next day. Oh my did I ever pay. Word of advice, if you are going to toast weiners over the campfire, at least make sure they are not charcoal black. Yeeeeeeeeh. Im not going to elaborate.
Chris and I also celebrated one year of being together. It is so amazing how time flies so fast. But as I said earlier in this blog, I love this man with my entire heart and nothing is going to change that. Isn't love great?
Work is blaaaah. I have been working there for a while and I just can't bring myself to liking it. I have tried so hard and I am telling you, it ain't easy. I feel more comfortable with it, I just don't like it. And I don't think I ever will. Even if the hours got amazingly better, I still won't like it. The job is just not for me. Its tooooo repititious.
Anyway, I will hopefully keep up to date with this thing a little bit more...I know I say that all the time....I get so lazy and moody
Guess I should go now. I got someone messaging me on msn and I spose I should go talk to them.
Peace!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)