Ok. so The title of my blog made me look like the biggest geek on the planet. (hey, we're all geeks in our own little way.) I decided to get one after much thought and consideration. The fact is, I read alot...especially when Chris is away, and I really don't have the funds to be buying new books every week..or second hand books even for that matter.
I am truly excited that I now have this card. I went to the library earlier today and I seen all of the selections of books that I havn't yet read and I was just so hyper because of it. Books are so great. I've loved reading since I was a very young girl and I still do!
Complelty off topic here, I am so tired. Im trying to keep my eyes open here. And I still have to work from 4-12. I had a doctors appointment this morning and it went good. I have to go get blood work done in a month which isnt too shabby. I have that long to get my courage up again. Its really funny because before I wasn't even scared. Now I am.
I didnt sleep that good last night. Its so hard sleeping when the man I love with all of my heart is not in bed next to me. I always feel so safe and secure whenever hes by my side. I love him so much. I know that will never change. I know he also feels the same way about me. And I couldnt be happier.
Its really time to get over these insecurites and enjoy my life and the people I have in my life.
I guess I should go now thou. My hair looks realllly bad. LOL. And I have to do something with it, and also try to catch a few winks so that Im not completly drained for training.
Peace out!
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Monday, May 22, 2006
Sometimes I just feel like crying
Maybe I shouldn't be so down in the dumps, but the truth is I am so lonely right now. I didn't think I would survive this past weekend. I mean just thinking of the fact that I was here by myself and all of my other friends (or most of them anyway) were having a good time for theirself, camping, spending time with other friends, whatever. I havnt really been in contact with anyone besides for the clerks at the two or three stores I went to on Saturday. And whats worse? Chris didn't even call me Friday night. You would never believe how down that got me. I kept thinking of how unfair it was that I was stuck here with hardly any friends that I can truly hang around with, or how the one man I love with all of my heart has to go away for weeks at a time, when even one day away from him tortures my soul. But, life is full of obstacles and things we must overcome. Im so glad that I have him in my life. Its only going to be a little less then three weeks now and he will be back. For now I will concentrate on my training classes so that in three weeks time Im not a dummy out on the floor. (yes, Im nervous about that as well, but thats what training is for.)
My weekend in detail isnt that much. I lazed around here for most of the weekend, doing what I had to do. Bathing, doing dishes, cooking, practicing my drawing skills (which arent the greatest), watching endless hours of tv...(and I mean that literally) and also catching up on some reading.
Im actually kind of looking forward to going to work today. This weekend has been much to long and lonely as well, so just being around people makes me a little happier. Its even better that its in the night time which will make my nights less long and less lonely, some what.
But boy oh boy, am I ever tired. I dont think I've had a proper nights rest since Chris has been gone away.
So, sometimes the tears really want to come....the threat of them are almost always there, but Im going to have to make the best of it. For my sake.
Anyway, Im out. PEACE!!
My weekend in detail isnt that much. I lazed around here for most of the weekend, doing what I had to do. Bathing, doing dishes, cooking, practicing my drawing skills (which arent the greatest), watching endless hours of tv...(and I mean that literally) and also catching up on some reading.
Im actually kind of looking forward to going to work today. This weekend has been much to long and lonely as well, so just being around people makes me a little happier. Its even better that its in the night time which will make my nights less long and less lonely, some what.
But boy oh boy, am I ever tired. I dont think I've had a proper nights rest since Chris has been gone away.
So, sometimes the tears really want to come....the threat of them are almost always there, but Im going to have to make the best of it. For my sake.
Anyway, Im out. PEACE!!
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Day 1 while my man is away.
I seriously think I am going to go off of my head. C has been gone for not even ten hours and I miss him like you would never believe. I guess after a couple of nights I will get used to it and before you know it I will be back in his arms again and we will be packing our bags to go to NL for that weekend. We're going there for a wedding and I am so looking forward to that. I was fortunate enough to get that time off because I will just be finishing training and I was talking to one of the staff at work and was told it would not be a problem. I am so excited. I am getting so drunk and I am going to dance the night away because I just want to dance.
Tiff, I really hope that I get to see you. As you know though, time is very limited which sux. Hopefully that Sunday we can arrange something.
On a more personal note, last week wasnt a good week. I found out some really bad news on Thursday which shocked me like a punch in the face. A girl I know was in a car accident and she didn't survive. I have known this young woman for a long time....when I was at least in jr high. (shes younger then I and her sister and I were freinds) The only way I can express my feelings is by writing a poem, but the words just havnt come to me yet. And as I sit here I just cant find the right words to show how I am really feeling. Sad of course, but also confused, and angry. Its pretty hard to talk about! I just want you to know that she was a great person and she had an awesome personality, and a beautiful voice. And if you were down or unsure of yourself, she would always pick you up when you were down. I consider her a friend for being such a great friend to me, and I will always miss her and keep her in my heart!
Work is going ok. I finish up with one company tomorrow and start training with another on Monday. I feel a lot more confident with the way I handle things there then how I felt a few days ago. Yeh, it eventually came to me, and even thou I still feel kind of nervous every time I clock in, it makes it alittle easier as each day goes by.
So of course the money is coming in which helps so much.
But I still really miss Chris right now so I have to find something to keep myself entertained.
Which probably means alot more blogs in here for the next few days. So keep yourself posted. More to come!
Peace!
Tiff, I really hope that I get to see you. As you know though, time is very limited which sux. Hopefully that Sunday we can arrange something.
On a more personal note, last week wasnt a good week. I found out some really bad news on Thursday which shocked me like a punch in the face. A girl I know was in a car accident and she didn't survive. I have known this young woman for a long time....when I was at least in jr high. (shes younger then I and her sister and I were freinds) The only way I can express my feelings is by writing a poem, but the words just havnt come to me yet. And as I sit here I just cant find the right words to show how I am really feeling. Sad of course, but also confused, and angry. Its pretty hard to talk about! I just want you to know that she was a great person and she had an awesome personality, and a beautiful voice. And if you were down or unsure of yourself, she would always pick you up when you were down. I consider her a friend for being such a great friend to me, and I will always miss her and keep her in my heart!
Work is going ok. I finish up with one company tomorrow and start training with another on Monday. I feel a lot more confident with the way I handle things there then how I felt a few days ago. Yeh, it eventually came to me, and even thou I still feel kind of nervous every time I clock in, it makes it alittle easier as each day goes by.
So of course the money is coming in which helps so much.
But I still really miss Chris right now so I have to find something to keep myself entertained.
Which probably means alot more blogs in here for the next few days. So keep yourself posted. More to come!
Peace!
A quizzy chummy thingabobber
1. First name? Jill
2. Were you named after anyone? Well, not that I know of, but Im starting to wondering about my parents favourite nursery rhyme
3. Do you wish on stars? Sometimes
.4. When did you last cry? Hmmm…Saturday…but I feel like crying right now cuz I miss Chris a lot.
5. Do you like your handwriting? I have my good and bad days
6. What is your favourite lunch meat? Ham.
7. When is your birthday? Dec 9
8. What is your most embarrassing CD? Spice Girls
9. If you were another person would you be friends with you? Id probably be thrown off by my shyness, but once I got to know me Im sure I would be a good friend.
10. Do you have a journal? I sure do.
11. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Nooooooooo
12. Would you bungee jump? Not in the least
13. What is your favourite cereal? Cap’n Crunch
14. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? never
15. Do you think that you are strong? nope.
16. What is your favourite ice cream flavour? Chocolate
17. Shoe Size? 7 or 7 ½.
18. Red or pink? pink
19. What is your least favourite thing about yourself? My nose. And the way I constantly worry about EVERY LITTLE THING
20. Who do you miss the most? Chris whenever we’re not together
.21. OH NO...there's nothing here...well what was the point of having a number 21?
22. What color pants and >shoes are you wearing? Pj pants with snowmans on it and socks.
23. Last thing you ate? A whole pack of KD. lol
24. What are you listening to right now? 80’s music.
25. What color crayon would you be? Probably blue
26. Who Was the last person you spoke to on the phone? Mom, called her last night to tell her some more of the things I wanted sent up. I also called Chris twice yesterday while I was at work and I am actually waiting for him to call me.
27. Lord goodness, this is getting weird now...skip ahead again!! Ohhh my!
28. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Most definetly the eyes
29. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Nobody really sent it to me. LOL
30. Favourite Drinks? Water
31. Favourite Sport? Hockey even thou I cannot skate.
32. Hair Color? Multi multi multi
33. Do you wear contacts? Got glasses and only wear them when I feel like it
34. White or Black? black
35. Favourite Food? Anything chicken or chocolate
36. Last Movie You Watched? Just My Luck
37. Favourite Day Of The Year? Any day I am with Chris. I don’t really have a fave.
38. Scary Movies Or Happy Endings? Happy Endings
39. Summer or winter? Summer
40. Hugs or Kisses? Both :)
41. Favourite Dessert? I love cheesecake
44. What books are you reading? Some paperback I bought at the drugstore about sex. lol
45. What's On Your Mouse Pad? Errr…we don’t exactly have a mouse pad
.46. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? AI.
47. Favourite Smells? Chocolate, freshly cut grass, chicken cooking in the oven
48. Favourite Sounds? Rain on the roof or a good song
50. What's the furthest you've been from home? FL when I was 8.
*Just a note...wheres number 49? LOL
2. Were you named after anyone? Well, not that I know of, but Im starting to wondering about my parents favourite nursery rhyme
3. Do you wish on stars? Sometimes
.4. When did you last cry? Hmmm…Saturday…but I feel like crying right now cuz I miss Chris a lot.
5. Do you like your handwriting? I have my good and bad days
6. What is your favourite lunch meat? Ham.
7. When is your birthday? Dec 9
8. What is your most embarrassing CD? Spice Girls
9. If you were another person would you be friends with you? Id probably be thrown off by my shyness, but once I got to know me Im sure I would be a good friend.
10. Do you have a journal? I sure do.
11. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Nooooooooo
12. Would you bungee jump? Not in the least
13. What is your favourite cereal? Cap’n Crunch
14. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? never
15. Do you think that you are strong? nope.
16. What is your favourite ice cream flavour? Chocolate
17. Shoe Size? 7 or 7 ½.
18. Red or pink? pink
19. What is your least favourite thing about yourself? My nose. And the way I constantly worry about EVERY LITTLE THING
20. Who do you miss the most? Chris whenever we’re not together
.21. OH NO...there's nothing here...well what was the point of having a number 21?
22. What color pants and >shoes are you wearing? Pj pants with snowmans on it and socks.
23. Last thing you ate? A whole pack of KD. lol
24. What are you listening to right now? 80’s music.
25. What color crayon would you be? Probably blue
26. Who Was the last person you spoke to on the phone? Mom, called her last night to tell her some more of the things I wanted sent up. I also called Chris twice yesterday while I was at work and I am actually waiting for him to call me.
27. Lord goodness, this is getting weird now...skip ahead again!! Ohhh my!
28. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Most definetly the eyes
29. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Nobody really sent it to me. LOL
30. Favourite Drinks? Water
31. Favourite Sport? Hockey even thou I cannot skate.
32. Hair Color? Multi multi multi
33. Do you wear contacts? Got glasses and only wear them when I feel like it
34. White or Black? black
35. Favourite Food? Anything chicken or chocolate
36. Last Movie You Watched? Just My Luck
37. Favourite Day Of The Year? Any day I am with Chris. I don’t really have a fave.
38. Scary Movies Or Happy Endings? Happy Endings
39. Summer or winter? Summer
40. Hugs or Kisses? Both :)
41. Favourite Dessert? I love cheesecake
44. What books are you reading? Some paperback I bought at the drugstore about sex. lol
45. What's On Your Mouse Pad? Errr…we don’t exactly have a mouse pad
.46. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? AI.
47. Favourite Smells? Chocolate, freshly cut grass, chicken cooking in the oven
48. Favourite Sounds? Rain on the roof or a good song
50. What's the furthest you've been from home? FL when I was 8.
*Just a note...wheres number 49? LOL
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