You may think it is not a big deal, but it certainly is to me. I was hoping to hear from him last night but he didnt call because he was extemley busy.......but get this...I missed his call by like 10 seconds, because I was in the GD laundry room. I was coming down the hall and I heard our phone ring and I picked it up on the last ring but by then it was too late because the voicemail got to it before I did.
Now this is going to sound completly lame. Because I missed his call by mere seconds I sat down and cried like a baby. I guess that it is evident that I really wanted to talk to him. Even more, I want to see him. It has only been like a week a day or something in total so far, but I just miss him so much. He left a message though and said that he was going to try to call me tomorrow night. Too bad he wasn't coming home tomorrow night instead. Two more nights.
I dont know if I can handle it!
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Feelin a little bit better
In a couple of more days Chris will be back and I am very much looking forward to it. I know he has only been gone for like two weeks, and I figured the more times he went away, the more I would get used to it. Well, this isn't particularily the case. I think the more he goes away, the more I think about how lonely I am going to be, because I already know what I go through, and how down in the dumps I get. I SHOULD be used to it. It SHOULD get easier......I SHOULD NOT be so moody and not want to do anything while he is away(if that makes sense), but I never feel that way!
I heard from him the other night, which felt like it took forever to hear from him. I had been anticipating his call for like three nights...at least. And when that phone rang Saturday night, I felt so relieved, because I was worried.....you know...him bein in the middle of the ocean...weather...all that not so great stuff to worry about! And I was already worrying about the usual garbage I worry about.....WHICH I REALLY NEED TO STOP!!! I thought he was goin to be home Thursday but he told me it will be on Friday, and he may have duty. I was hoping to find out by tonight but I guess he was super busy (like he said he was going to be) so I hopefully I will hear from him Thursday, on my next night off.
Yes, I finally had a day off. And I decorated the apartment. The stupid tape didnt stick the best. I was not very impressed with it. But in the longrun, it looked ok with what I had to work with. This Halloween is going to be really different. I am so used to decorating the porch back home, and givin out treats. This year, I will most likely be working! Boo on that!
For some strange reason something just popped into my head that someone said to me at work the other night. They knew that I was waiting for Chris to come home and she said "It must get lonely all the time." and I agreed with her, and then she asked "Why dont you move back home?" I told her that I didn't want to do that because I loved Chris too much and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, so him being away is something I have to get used to.
I have to go back to work tomorow. But at least I dont have 6 days straight...for now anyway...as far as I know...I wonder if I will get a weekend day off?
Probably not. Knowin my durty luck with schedules.
Well I should go now. Its late and I should get in bed. Hope my decorations dont fall down during the night. Peace!!
I heard from him the other night, which felt like it took forever to hear from him. I had been anticipating his call for like three nights...at least. And when that phone rang Saturday night, I felt so relieved, because I was worried.....you know...him bein in the middle of the ocean...weather...all that not so great stuff to worry about! And I was already worrying about the usual garbage I worry about.....WHICH I REALLY NEED TO STOP!!! I thought he was goin to be home Thursday but he told me it will be on Friday, and he may have duty. I was hoping to find out by tonight but I guess he was super busy (like he said he was going to be) so I hopefully I will hear from him Thursday, on my next night off.
Yes, I finally had a day off. And I decorated the apartment. The stupid tape didnt stick the best. I was not very impressed with it. But in the longrun, it looked ok with what I had to work with. This Halloween is going to be really different. I am so used to decorating the porch back home, and givin out treats. This year, I will most likely be working! Boo on that!
For some strange reason something just popped into my head that someone said to me at work the other night. They knew that I was waiting for Chris to come home and she said "It must get lonely all the time." and I agreed with her, and then she asked "Why dont you move back home?" I told her that I didn't want to do that because I loved Chris too much and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, so him being away is something I have to get used to.
I have to go back to work tomorow. But at least I dont have 6 days straight...for now anyway...as far as I know...I wonder if I will get a weekend day off?
Probably not. Knowin my durty luck with schedules.
Well I should go now. Its late and I should get in bed. Hope my decorations dont fall down during the night. Peace!!
Friday, October 13, 2006
I just dont have it in me
Sooo...two days later and I dont feel any better. In fact, I feel worse....much worse. Work has got me so emotionally low it isnt even funny. Last week and the week before I was feelin so good about things you know, my name was picked for the billboard, I was doing a good job, was starting to feel a little more comfortable with it (now mind you, this didnt make me like the job any more...but at least I wasnt going to work with the same defeatist attitude.)
This week on the other hand, has been so bad. Theres been stuff going on that I just dont feel like rehashing on here....lets just say I feel like I totally screwed up bigtime. Not the greatest feeling in the world to have. Ever since Tuesday, when I walked in there, I just felt like walking out again and never looking back. Maybe the fact that C is gone has really got me down in the dumps, but I just dont like my job. Its the same shit, different smell. And now with all this shit....holy geez I could cry and bang my head against the wall...maybe THAT will make me feel better. And to think I only have to work for the next four days. I wish I could just quit, but I need the money way too much.
How am I going to get out of feeling this way? Oh I know..... get a better job and have C right here by my side.
Im going to go now. got to face another day of this! Boooo!
Peace
This week on the other hand, has been so bad. Theres been stuff going on that I just dont feel like rehashing on here....lets just say I feel like I totally screwed up bigtime. Not the greatest feeling in the world to have. Ever since Tuesday, when I walked in there, I just felt like walking out again and never looking back. Maybe the fact that C is gone has really got me down in the dumps, but I just dont like my job. Its the same shit, different smell. And now with all this shit....holy geez I could cry and bang my head against the wall...maybe THAT will make me feel better. And to think I only have to work for the next four days. I wish I could just quit, but I need the money way too much.
How am I going to get out of feeling this way? Oh I know..... get a better job and have C right here by my side.
Im going to go now. got to face another day of this! Boooo!
Peace
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
I get like this every time
Yeh, Chris is gone for another few days.....he's back for a week then gone for six more...weeks I mean.
I knew that it was going to be like this when we started going out, and really, I totally understand it.....it's his job, and with jobs, there are certain things you gotta do that may be not that great. I just dont like the lonliness at all. It's so depressing. And maybe I am totally dependent on him, but nobody in this entire universe would understand how I feel for him. I love him with my entire heart and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I think after the next long trip, it will be the last one for a while. He told me that as far as he knows there will be no long trips during the winter. I hope he's right.
The month that he was home was great. We got a few camping trips in. The last one we went on was this past weekend. It was Chris, me, Angie, Shawn, Jackie and Todd. And I got drunk. And paid for it the next day. Oh my did I ever pay. Word of advice, if you are going to toast weiners over the campfire, at least make sure they are not charcoal black. Yeeeeeeeeh. Im not going to elaborate.
Chris and I also celebrated one year of being together. It is so amazing how time flies so fast. But as I said earlier in this blog, I love this man with my entire heart and nothing is going to change that. Isn't love great?
Work is blaaaah. I have been working there for a while and I just can't bring myself to liking it. I have tried so hard and I am telling you, it ain't easy. I feel more comfortable with it, I just don't like it. And I don't think I ever will. Even if the hours got amazingly better, I still won't like it. The job is just not for me. Its tooooo repititious.
Anyway, I will hopefully keep up to date with this thing a little bit more...I know I say that all the time....I get so lazy and moody
Guess I should go now. I got someone messaging me on msn and I spose I should go talk to them.
Peace!!
I knew that it was going to be like this when we started going out, and really, I totally understand it.....it's his job, and with jobs, there are certain things you gotta do that may be not that great. I just dont like the lonliness at all. It's so depressing. And maybe I am totally dependent on him, but nobody in this entire universe would understand how I feel for him. I love him with my entire heart and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I think after the next long trip, it will be the last one for a while. He told me that as far as he knows there will be no long trips during the winter. I hope he's right.
The month that he was home was great. We got a few camping trips in. The last one we went on was this past weekend. It was Chris, me, Angie, Shawn, Jackie and Todd. And I got drunk. And paid for it the next day. Oh my did I ever pay. Word of advice, if you are going to toast weiners over the campfire, at least make sure they are not charcoal black. Yeeeeeeeeh. Im not going to elaborate.
Chris and I also celebrated one year of being together. It is so amazing how time flies so fast. But as I said earlier in this blog, I love this man with my entire heart and nothing is going to change that. Isn't love great?
Work is blaaaah. I have been working there for a while and I just can't bring myself to liking it. I have tried so hard and I am telling you, it ain't easy. I feel more comfortable with it, I just don't like it. And I don't think I ever will. Even if the hours got amazingly better, I still won't like it. The job is just not for me. Its tooooo repititious.
Anyway, I will hopefully keep up to date with this thing a little bit more...I know I say that all the time....I get so lazy and moody
Guess I should go now. I got someone messaging me on msn and I spose I should go talk to them.
Peace!!
Monday, August 21, 2006
I need to vent!!!!
I know I have not wrote in my blog for a very long time, but there is something I really need to say. I HATE MY JOB!! It f'n pisses me off. I cant stand it there and I have tried so hard to suck it up but you wanna know something? Things are NOT getting any better up there!! I still work the same shitty ass schedule that I had two months ago and apparently things arent going to change for a while. They wonder why in the hell ppl are quitting left and right. Well, its bad enough putting up with the garbage we put up with, but to do it at 2 am in the morning night after night....yeh..there is definetly something wrong there!! And you tell them that its hard to work this schedule all the time and then they make your schedule worse.
I should not be complaining that I have a job, and Im thankful for the money that I have, but in all honesty, I couldnt count on 10 hands how many times I wanted to just up and walk out of that stupid place.
I think I am going to end this here because Im just makin myself angrier!!
I should not be complaining that I have a job, and Im thankful for the money that I have, but in all honesty, I couldnt count on 10 hands how many times I wanted to just up and walk out of that stupid place.
I think I am going to end this here because Im just makin myself angrier!!
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
...and on a brighter note.....
so my last blog which I posted a few hours ago..like yesterday seemed pretty..how can I put it.....bitchy I guess. Yeh, work is the worst thing in the world right now. The money is awesome but they work it self is not fun. I'm trying still...I really am, but Iwould really like to hear from that other place in which I applied. Two weeks ago I was feeling pretty confident that I would hear from them for an interview. Now Im not feeling that anymore. In fact Im pretty discouraged now.....
....but thats not on a brighter note.
Heres my brighter note.....
I got my schedule for next week and its a little bit better then before. I have Saturday off, I work til 1:30 instead of 2 most of the nights except two..wher one is actually only until 12 so thast a bonus. I would seriously like some day shifts though...even if it was from 12-9. I can most definetly handle that.
The last two weeks have beeen good (on my days off I mean). The first week, C and I trucked to the Valley for a couple nights of camping. Im not sure if I said that in one of the last blogs I wrote but I dont think I did. That was ok. I had some time with the man I love. We didnt do a lot, just basically relaxed for a couple of days. Im not crazy about the bugs thou.
Then last week, on Wednesday we went to Peggy's Cove and I took some pictures. I absoultly love going there. Its just so nice and relaxing and beautiful. I love the rocks. Im a bit of a nerd but its just so nice there.
Thursday, I went on a day-sail on the ship that my sister and C works on. Actually made me think about joining the navy. Something I've been talking about for some time now but I actually havnt gotten off my rear end and done anything about it. So that trip was nice. The people they work with are pretty cool.
This weekend I had Saturday off so the four of us (C, my sis and my bro in law and myself) all trucked down to the Valley again for a night of camping. They had fireworks down around there which were absolutly amazing. Not long after we got back and just C and me were sitting out by the fire, it started to mist. i looked up at the sky and saw a flash of lightning and heard the thunder. I then booted 'er into the camper.
So yeh, those were pretty much my days off....summed up really short. I have tomorrow off so all four of us are going to the Tattoo. Im really looking forward to that.
Also on another good note, my stuff is being shipped up as we speak, so I should actually get it this week or no later then the middle of next week. You would never believe how happy that truly makes me. All the stuff I have been waiting for, for months will soon be here...including my beloved cd and dvd collection...the only question now is where in the hell am I going to fit 16 boxes of stuff in an apartment :S
Well, I've pretty much ran out of things to say. I'll post later.
PEACE OUT
....but thats not on a brighter note.
Heres my brighter note.....
I got my schedule for next week and its a little bit better then before. I have Saturday off, I work til 1:30 instead of 2 most of the nights except two..wher one is actually only until 12 so thast a bonus. I would seriously like some day shifts though...even if it was from 12-9. I can most definetly handle that.
The last two weeks have beeen good (on my days off I mean). The first week, C and I trucked to the Valley for a couple nights of camping. Im not sure if I said that in one of the last blogs I wrote but I dont think I did. That was ok. I had some time with the man I love. We didnt do a lot, just basically relaxed for a couple of days. Im not crazy about the bugs thou.
Then last week, on Wednesday we went to Peggy's Cove and I took some pictures. I absoultly love going there. Its just so nice and relaxing and beautiful. I love the rocks. Im a bit of a nerd but its just so nice there.
Thursday, I went on a day-sail on the ship that my sister and C works on. Actually made me think about joining the navy. Something I've been talking about for some time now but I actually havnt gotten off my rear end and done anything about it. So that trip was nice. The people they work with are pretty cool.
This weekend I had Saturday off so the four of us (C, my sis and my bro in law and myself) all trucked down to the Valley again for a night of camping. They had fireworks down around there which were absolutly amazing. Not long after we got back and just C and me were sitting out by the fire, it started to mist. i looked up at the sky and saw a flash of lightning and heard the thunder. I then booted 'er into the camper.
So yeh, those were pretty much my days off....summed up really short. I have tomorrow off so all four of us are going to the Tattoo. Im really looking forward to that.
Also on another good note, my stuff is being shipped up as we speak, so I should actually get it this week or no later then the middle of next week. You would never believe how happy that truly makes me. All the stuff I have been waiting for, for months will soon be here...including my beloved cd and dvd collection...the only question now is where in the hell am I going to fit 16 boxes of stuff in an apartment :S
Well, I've pretty much ran out of things to say. I'll post later.
PEACE OUT
Monday, July 03, 2006
I really cant stand this anymore
I tried. I really really tried. But the more Im at that awful crappy place with those awful shitty hours, I could just sit down and cry. Im so close to quitting, Whats stopping me? The fact that the money is good and I need it and also that if I did quit Id have at least 3 people disappointed in me. I had a "moment" tonight because I was just totally frusterated. And you would never believe how many times I have actually thought about just up and walking out. I know the defeatist attitude is the wrong attitude to have, but I just dont know what to think anymore. Put it this way, you put up with lots of garbage(basically). I REALLY DONT THINK ITS EASY MONEY......you just have to know so much....yeh, maybe it gets easier as time goes by but when you're new the first couple of months are never easy....then the hours TOTALLY SUCK....how true is that?....its totally screwing up my day.....working til 2, up til 3 maybe later...and then in bed half the day. blah. I told myself not to be such a whiney brat about it, but I just wanna quit. I aint a quitter but......you know.
Anyway, I vented, and I really dont care if I do look like a loser or whatever. Im angry.
Im out.
Anyway, I vented, and I really dont care if I do look like a loser or whatever. Im angry.
Im out.
Monday, June 19, 2006
To clarify things.....
I was in a bit of a bad mood when I wrote my last blog. Now mind you, the fact of working til 2:00 in the morning doesnt really make me want to jump and down with excitement, but Im trying to accept it.....for now anyway. Im currently working on getting another job which has better hours, ones that I can handle, that would not really make me dread going to work everyday.
Having said that. I bitched the other day and done it all...but maybe I wasnt being clear. See, everyone has their days when things dont seem to be going their way. As for me, I had 4 days right in a row last week. I guess it all started when the sneezing started and the cold struck me within 24 hours....it hit me and it hit me hard. So, my feeling miserable and then receiving that horrible horrible schedule didnt seem to make things any the more better. In all honesty, I didnt think it was good sense to be up all hours of the night with the way that I was feeling. And the very thought and idea of having to work all my nights pretty well with not even a weekend to enjoy just made me so .......down in the dumps.
Everyone complains about one thing or another....petty or not. They just don't see any justice in the way their life is going. But then you gotta really sit down and be thankful for what you have.
Having said THAT, I dont for one second regret moving up here. Not in the least. Sure there are those moments when I could go crazy because I miss everyone back home so much. But there are not many job opportunities back home, and with the old job, well face it....I was getting absolutly nowhere with it. I was making barely 50 cents more then what I started. You cant go far on like $7.02 an hour. Yes, the money is good here at this job, but I find it stressful. I really do. Im not up to par what to do and then I freak out. That is why I am so miserable there. Its really a field where I dont have that much knowledge in.
As for moving here, I am so glad I done it. Yeh I dont get to see C as much as I want to and that really sucks, but we are trying to spend as much time together as possible. I love this man, and I definetly dont want to go home. He means way to much to me. I love him with my whole heart and nothing will ever change that. I knew before I even came up here that it was going to be hard and I knew that reality was going to slap me in the face. Its a challange but in all honesty Im really proud of myself for making it this far. A lot of ppl back home said I would be back home within a month or two and here it is almost 5 months now and I have no intentions in moving back.
I hope I made myself a little clear on the situation. I dont think I jumped into this too soon at all. Im glad with the decision I made.
Im out!
Peace!!
Having said that. I bitched the other day and done it all...but maybe I wasnt being clear. See, everyone has their days when things dont seem to be going their way. As for me, I had 4 days right in a row last week. I guess it all started when the sneezing started and the cold struck me within 24 hours....it hit me and it hit me hard. So, my feeling miserable and then receiving that horrible horrible schedule didnt seem to make things any the more better. In all honesty, I didnt think it was good sense to be up all hours of the night with the way that I was feeling. And the very thought and idea of having to work all my nights pretty well with not even a weekend to enjoy just made me so .......down in the dumps.
Everyone complains about one thing or another....petty or not. They just don't see any justice in the way their life is going. But then you gotta really sit down and be thankful for what you have.
Having said THAT, I dont for one second regret moving up here. Not in the least. Sure there are those moments when I could go crazy because I miss everyone back home so much. But there are not many job opportunities back home, and with the old job, well face it....I was getting absolutly nowhere with it. I was making barely 50 cents more then what I started. You cant go far on like $7.02 an hour. Yes, the money is good here at this job, but I find it stressful. I really do. Im not up to par what to do and then I freak out. That is why I am so miserable there. Its really a field where I dont have that much knowledge in.
As for moving here, I am so glad I done it. Yeh I dont get to see C as much as I want to and that really sucks, but we are trying to spend as much time together as possible. I love this man, and I definetly dont want to go home. He means way to much to me. I love him with my whole heart and nothing will ever change that. I knew before I even came up here that it was going to be hard and I knew that reality was going to slap me in the face. Its a challange but in all honesty Im really proud of myself for making it this far. A lot of ppl back home said I would be back home within a month or two and here it is almost 5 months now and I have no intentions in moving back.
I hope I made myself a little clear on the situation. I dont think I jumped into this too soon at all. Im glad with the decision I made.
Im out!
Peace!!
Friday, June 16, 2006
What a S***uation.
Im not very happy right now. I actually just want to quit this sucky ass job that I have and finally be happy for the first time in weeks. Put it this way. Im in a job that makes me absolulty miserable. Im nervous when Im at it, and then I get frusterated and I just feel so lost sometimes that I could sit down and cry. And looking at the fact that finding a new job isnt going to be any easier is making me feel ten times worse.
You will never believe the hours that Im on. Til 2 f'n o clock in the morning? WTF is up with that? Yeh I can understand that we're the newbies and all, but maybe they should make it fair, considering we had training til 12 in the a.m. , then the first week we worked til 1:30 in a.m. and now the second week we got shifts right til 2. I dont know about some ppl but I know that I cant function that late in the night (or in this case, early in the morning). Training was tought enough. And hello....I have a social life as well you know. .
Yeh, Im bitching, but I got so much.....I dunno, anger built and fueled inside of me, I gotta let it out. So much for the "don't worry, you'll all be getting the dayshift." WHATEVER!!!
I am just hoping that it will get better in the next couple of weeks. C is going at the end of July and I want some sort of a Summer with him.
I 've had the flu the last few days so I have had to stay home from work...but thats another completely differnt story that I just dont feel like getting into right now.
Can you say completly frusterated?
More later. Peace
You will never believe the hours that Im on. Til 2 f'n o clock in the morning? WTF is up with that? Yeh I can understand that we're the newbies and all, but maybe they should make it fair, considering we had training til 12 in the a.m. , then the first week we worked til 1:30 in a.m. and now the second week we got shifts right til 2. I dont know about some ppl but I know that I cant function that late in the night (or in this case, early in the morning). Training was tought enough. And hello....I have a social life as well you know. .
Yeh, Im bitching, but I got so much.....I dunno, anger built and fueled inside of me, I gotta let it out. So much for the "don't worry, you'll all be getting the dayshift." WHATEVER!!!
I am just hoping that it will get better in the next couple of weeks. C is going at the end of July and I want some sort of a Summer with him.
I 've had the flu the last few days so I have had to stay home from work...but thats another completely differnt story that I just dont feel like getting into right now.
Can you say completly frusterated?
More later. Peace
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Only 4 more days
Yes. Its true. It wont be much longer now. Im very excited. You would never believe how much I missed C. I talk to him pretty much every day (sometimes twice a day..usually on the weekends.) I know hes looking forward to coming home, and I know he misses me as much as I miss him.
So the last two weeks (or nearly 2 weeks anyway) havnt been too bad. Training is going almost too quick for my liking. We've only got one more week left (4 days in my case since Im flying home on Friday). Theres so much information and I havnt got a clue..no kidding. But this week is going to be alot of review and dad told me not to have a negative attitude about so I'm really trying not to. This week is going to be hard to concentrate thou because I'll see my man in less then a week. Sweet!
Yesterday I was feeling kind of low. The lonliness was getting to me the most. But when C called me and I was talking to him for almost 40 minutes I felt a lot better.......that and crying before he called. (crying helps alot, in my opinion.)
The weekends actually havnt been that bad. Last Saturday afternoon I went to the mall with my sis, my bro in law, and a couple of their friends. I didnt buy anything, I didnt really see much I liked. I've got a bad sense in fashion really. Things are too gurly for me. Im such a tomboy....but then I've always been like that. Hey...if it isnt comfortable I dont wanna wear it. End of story.
Saturday night we went to the tall ship. I hadnt planned on getting drunk but I did. My B-I-L
kept buying me beer so I wasnt feeling to bad when I got home later that night. Sunday I felt like crap thou so I pretty much had to nurse myself back to health again.
This weekend was ok as well. I went to a bbq with my sis and them and I met a few of the ppl she works with. That was pretty interesting.
Tonight we are going out to supper and then to a movie. Im actually waiting for them now because they're sposed to be here really soon. Maybe I should get on the ball and brush my teeth. (Just a suggestion.)
Most likely the next time I write in this is next weekend after the wedding.......so until then, PEACE!
So the last two weeks (or nearly 2 weeks anyway) havnt been too bad. Training is going almost too quick for my liking. We've only got one more week left (4 days in my case since Im flying home on Friday). Theres so much information and I havnt got a clue..no kidding. But this week is going to be alot of review and dad told me not to have a negative attitude about so I'm really trying not to. This week is going to be hard to concentrate thou because I'll see my man in less then a week. Sweet!
Yesterday I was feeling kind of low. The lonliness was getting to me the most. But when C called me and I was talking to him for almost 40 minutes I felt a lot better.......that and crying before he called. (crying helps alot, in my opinion.)
The weekends actually havnt been that bad. Last Saturday afternoon I went to the mall with my sis, my bro in law, and a couple of their friends. I didnt buy anything, I didnt really see much I liked. I've got a bad sense in fashion really. Things are too gurly for me. Im such a tomboy....but then I've always been like that. Hey...if it isnt comfortable I dont wanna wear it. End of story.
Saturday night we went to the tall ship. I hadnt planned on getting drunk but I did. My B-I-L
kept buying me beer so I wasnt feeling to bad when I got home later that night. Sunday I felt like crap thou so I pretty much had to nurse myself back to health again.
This weekend was ok as well. I went to a bbq with my sis and them and I met a few of the ppl she works with. That was pretty interesting.
Tonight we are going out to supper and then to a movie. Im actually waiting for them now because they're sposed to be here really soon. Maybe I should get on the ball and brush my teeth. (Just a suggestion.)
Most likely the next time I write in this is next weekend after the wedding.......so until then, PEACE!
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
I have a library card!!!
Ok. so The title of my blog made me look like the biggest geek on the planet. (hey, we're all geeks in our own little way.) I decided to get one after much thought and consideration. The fact is, I read alot...especially when Chris is away, and I really don't have the funds to be buying new books every week..or second hand books even for that matter.
I am truly excited that I now have this card. I went to the library earlier today and I seen all of the selections of books that I havn't yet read and I was just so hyper because of it. Books are so great. I've loved reading since I was a very young girl and I still do!
Complelty off topic here, I am so tired. Im trying to keep my eyes open here. And I still have to work from 4-12. I had a doctors appointment this morning and it went good. I have to go get blood work done in a month which isnt too shabby. I have that long to get my courage up again. Its really funny because before I wasn't even scared. Now I am.
I didnt sleep that good last night. Its so hard sleeping when the man I love with all of my heart is not in bed next to me. I always feel so safe and secure whenever hes by my side. I love him so much. I know that will never change. I know he also feels the same way about me. And I couldnt be happier.
Its really time to get over these insecurites and enjoy my life and the people I have in my life.
I guess I should go now thou. My hair looks realllly bad. LOL. And I have to do something with it, and also try to catch a few winks so that Im not completly drained for training.
Peace out!
I am truly excited that I now have this card. I went to the library earlier today and I seen all of the selections of books that I havn't yet read and I was just so hyper because of it. Books are so great. I've loved reading since I was a very young girl and I still do!
Complelty off topic here, I am so tired. Im trying to keep my eyes open here. And I still have to work from 4-12. I had a doctors appointment this morning and it went good. I have to go get blood work done in a month which isnt too shabby. I have that long to get my courage up again. Its really funny because before I wasn't even scared. Now I am.
I didnt sleep that good last night. Its so hard sleeping when the man I love with all of my heart is not in bed next to me. I always feel so safe and secure whenever hes by my side. I love him so much. I know that will never change. I know he also feels the same way about me. And I couldnt be happier.
Its really time to get over these insecurites and enjoy my life and the people I have in my life.
I guess I should go now thou. My hair looks realllly bad. LOL. And I have to do something with it, and also try to catch a few winks so that Im not completly drained for training.
Peace out!
Monday, May 22, 2006
Sometimes I just feel like crying
Maybe I shouldn't be so down in the dumps, but the truth is I am so lonely right now. I didn't think I would survive this past weekend. I mean just thinking of the fact that I was here by myself and all of my other friends (or most of them anyway) were having a good time for theirself, camping, spending time with other friends, whatever. I havnt really been in contact with anyone besides for the clerks at the two or three stores I went to on Saturday. And whats worse? Chris didn't even call me Friday night. You would never believe how down that got me. I kept thinking of how unfair it was that I was stuck here with hardly any friends that I can truly hang around with, or how the one man I love with all of my heart has to go away for weeks at a time, when even one day away from him tortures my soul. But, life is full of obstacles and things we must overcome. Im so glad that I have him in my life. Its only going to be a little less then three weeks now and he will be back. For now I will concentrate on my training classes so that in three weeks time Im not a dummy out on the floor. (yes, Im nervous about that as well, but thats what training is for.)
My weekend in detail isnt that much. I lazed around here for most of the weekend, doing what I had to do. Bathing, doing dishes, cooking, practicing my drawing skills (which arent the greatest), watching endless hours of tv...(and I mean that literally) and also catching up on some reading.
Im actually kind of looking forward to going to work today. This weekend has been much to long and lonely as well, so just being around people makes me a little happier. Its even better that its in the night time which will make my nights less long and less lonely, some what.
But boy oh boy, am I ever tired. I dont think I've had a proper nights rest since Chris has been gone away.
So, sometimes the tears really want to come....the threat of them are almost always there, but Im going to have to make the best of it. For my sake.
Anyway, Im out. PEACE!!
My weekend in detail isnt that much. I lazed around here for most of the weekend, doing what I had to do. Bathing, doing dishes, cooking, practicing my drawing skills (which arent the greatest), watching endless hours of tv...(and I mean that literally) and also catching up on some reading.
Im actually kind of looking forward to going to work today. This weekend has been much to long and lonely as well, so just being around people makes me a little happier. Its even better that its in the night time which will make my nights less long and less lonely, some what.
But boy oh boy, am I ever tired. I dont think I've had a proper nights rest since Chris has been gone away.
So, sometimes the tears really want to come....the threat of them are almost always there, but Im going to have to make the best of it. For my sake.
Anyway, Im out. PEACE!!
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Day 1 while my man is away.
I seriously think I am going to go off of my head. C has been gone for not even ten hours and I miss him like you would never believe. I guess after a couple of nights I will get used to it and before you know it I will be back in his arms again and we will be packing our bags to go to NL for that weekend. We're going there for a wedding and I am so looking forward to that. I was fortunate enough to get that time off because I will just be finishing training and I was talking to one of the staff at work and was told it would not be a problem. I am so excited. I am getting so drunk and I am going to dance the night away because I just want to dance.
Tiff, I really hope that I get to see you. As you know though, time is very limited which sux. Hopefully that Sunday we can arrange something.
On a more personal note, last week wasnt a good week. I found out some really bad news on Thursday which shocked me like a punch in the face. A girl I know was in a car accident and she didn't survive. I have known this young woman for a long time....when I was at least in jr high. (shes younger then I and her sister and I were freinds) The only way I can express my feelings is by writing a poem, but the words just havnt come to me yet. And as I sit here I just cant find the right words to show how I am really feeling. Sad of course, but also confused, and angry. Its pretty hard to talk about! I just want you to know that she was a great person and she had an awesome personality, and a beautiful voice. And if you were down or unsure of yourself, she would always pick you up when you were down. I consider her a friend for being such a great friend to me, and I will always miss her and keep her in my heart!
Work is going ok. I finish up with one company tomorrow and start training with another on Monday. I feel a lot more confident with the way I handle things there then how I felt a few days ago. Yeh, it eventually came to me, and even thou I still feel kind of nervous every time I clock in, it makes it alittle easier as each day goes by.
So of course the money is coming in which helps so much.
But I still really miss Chris right now so I have to find something to keep myself entertained.
Which probably means alot more blogs in here for the next few days. So keep yourself posted. More to come!
Peace!
Tiff, I really hope that I get to see you. As you know though, time is very limited which sux. Hopefully that Sunday we can arrange something.
On a more personal note, last week wasnt a good week. I found out some really bad news on Thursday which shocked me like a punch in the face. A girl I know was in a car accident and she didn't survive. I have known this young woman for a long time....when I was at least in jr high. (shes younger then I and her sister and I were freinds) The only way I can express my feelings is by writing a poem, but the words just havnt come to me yet. And as I sit here I just cant find the right words to show how I am really feeling. Sad of course, but also confused, and angry. Its pretty hard to talk about! I just want you to know that she was a great person and she had an awesome personality, and a beautiful voice. And if you were down or unsure of yourself, she would always pick you up when you were down. I consider her a friend for being such a great friend to me, and I will always miss her and keep her in my heart!
Work is going ok. I finish up with one company tomorrow and start training with another on Monday. I feel a lot more confident with the way I handle things there then how I felt a few days ago. Yeh, it eventually came to me, and even thou I still feel kind of nervous every time I clock in, it makes it alittle easier as each day goes by.
So of course the money is coming in which helps so much.
But I still really miss Chris right now so I have to find something to keep myself entertained.
Which probably means alot more blogs in here for the next few days. So keep yourself posted. More to come!
Peace!
A quizzy chummy thingabobber
1. First name? Jill
2. Were you named after anyone? Well, not that I know of, but Im starting to wondering about my parents favourite nursery rhyme
3. Do you wish on stars? Sometimes
.4. When did you last cry? Hmmm…Saturday…but I feel like crying right now cuz I miss Chris a lot.
5. Do you like your handwriting? I have my good and bad days
6. What is your favourite lunch meat? Ham.
7. When is your birthday? Dec 9
8. What is your most embarrassing CD? Spice Girls
9. If you were another person would you be friends with you? Id probably be thrown off by my shyness, but once I got to know me Im sure I would be a good friend.
10. Do you have a journal? I sure do.
11. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Nooooooooo
12. Would you bungee jump? Not in the least
13. What is your favourite cereal? Cap’n Crunch
14. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? never
15. Do you think that you are strong? nope.
16. What is your favourite ice cream flavour? Chocolate
17. Shoe Size? 7 or 7 ½.
18. Red or pink? pink
19. What is your least favourite thing about yourself? My nose. And the way I constantly worry about EVERY LITTLE THING
20. Who do you miss the most? Chris whenever we’re not together
.21. OH NO...there's nothing here...well what was the point of having a number 21?
22. What color pants and >shoes are you wearing? Pj pants with snowmans on it and socks.
23. Last thing you ate? A whole pack of KD. lol
24. What are you listening to right now? 80’s music.
25. What color crayon would you be? Probably blue
26. Who Was the last person you spoke to on the phone? Mom, called her last night to tell her some more of the things I wanted sent up. I also called Chris twice yesterday while I was at work and I am actually waiting for him to call me.
27. Lord goodness, this is getting weird now...skip ahead again!! Ohhh my!
28. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Most definetly the eyes
29. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Nobody really sent it to me. LOL
30. Favourite Drinks? Water
31. Favourite Sport? Hockey even thou I cannot skate.
32. Hair Color? Multi multi multi
33. Do you wear contacts? Got glasses and only wear them when I feel like it
34. White or Black? black
35. Favourite Food? Anything chicken or chocolate
36. Last Movie You Watched? Just My Luck
37. Favourite Day Of The Year? Any day I am with Chris. I don’t really have a fave.
38. Scary Movies Or Happy Endings? Happy Endings
39. Summer or winter? Summer
40. Hugs or Kisses? Both :)
41. Favourite Dessert? I love cheesecake
44. What books are you reading? Some paperback I bought at the drugstore about sex. lol
45. What's On Your Mouse Pad? Errr…we don’t exactly have a mouse pad
.46. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? AI.
47. Favourite Smells? Chocolate, freshly cut grass, chicken cooking in the oven
48. Favourite Sounds? Rain on the roof or a good song
50. What's the furthest you've been from home? FL when I was 8.
*Just a note...wheres number 49? LOL
2. Were you named after anyone? Well, not that I know of, but Im starting to wondering about my parents favourite nursery rhyme
3. Do you wish on stars? Sometimes
.4. When did you last cry? Hmmm…Saturday…but I feel like crying right now cuz I miss Chris a lot.
5. Do you like your handwriting? I have my good and bad days
6. What is your favourite lunch meat? Ham.
7. When is your birthday? Dec 9
8. What is your most embarrassing CD? Spice Girls
9. If you were another person would you be friends with you? Id probably be thrown off by my shyness, but once I got to know me Im sure I would be a good friend.
10. Do you have a journal? I sure do.
11. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Nooooooooo
12. Would you bungee jump? Not in the least
13. What is your favourite cereal? Cap’n Crunch
14. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? never
15. Do you think that you are strong? nope.
16. What is your favourite ice cream flavour? Chocolate
17. Shoe Size? 7 or 7 ½.
18. Red or pink? pink
19. What is your least favourite thing about yourself? My nose. And the way I constantly worry about EVERY LITTLE THING
20. Who do you miss the most? Chris whenever we’re not together
.21. OH NO...there's nothing here...well what was the point of having a number 21?
22. What color pants and >shoes are you wearing? Pj pants with snowmans on it and socks.
23. Last thing you ate? A whole pack of KD. lol
24. What are you listening to right now? 80’s music.
25. What color crayon would you be? Probably blue
26. Who Was the last person you spoke to on the phone? Mom, called her last night to tell her some more of the things I wanted sent up. I also called Chris twice yesterday while I was at work and I am actually waiting for him to call me.
27. Lord goodness, this is getting weird now...skip ahead again!! Ohhh my!
28. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Most definetly the eyes
29. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Nobody really sent it to me. LOL
30. Favourite Drinks? Water
31. Favourite Sport? Hockey even thou I cannot skate.
32. Hair Color? Multi multi multi
33. Do you wear contacts? Got glasses and only wear them when I feel like it
34. White or Black? black
35. Favourite Food? Anything chicken or chocolate
36. Last Movie You Watched? Just My Luck
37. Favourite Day Of The Year? Any day I am with Chris. I don’t really have a fave.
38. Scary Movies Or Happy Endings? Happy Endings
39. Summer or winter? Summer
40. Hugs or Kisses? Both :)
41. Favourite Dessert? I love cheesecake
44. What books are you reading? Some paperback I bought at the drugstore about sex. lol
45. What's On Your Mouse Pad? Errr…we don’t exactly have a mouse pad
.46. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? AI.
47. Favourite Smells? Chocolate, freshly cut grass, chicken cooking in the oven
48. Favourite Sounds? Rain on the roof or a good song
50. What's the furthest you've been from home? FL when I was 8.
*Just a note...wheres number 49? LOL
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Feeling a little somehow
So yeh, I dont know what Im going to do with myself because this is just too much. All I know is that I want a good job. And to me right now, things seem so hopeless. The only thing that I can do right now is continue looking and applying to different jobs, especially those close by. Its all I can do!
Besides for the constant thinking about my most recent worry, things arent that bad. This weekend came and went in a blur. Almost too quick if you ask me. I had work yesterday from 11-430 . I was really glad to get home. I lazed around the apartment with Chris and had pizza for supper. I also finished a novel and talked to some friends. Around 730 we left here and went for a drive before we went to the movie, which Chris treated me for.
We got home around 12 or so and I done some online searching for a job until I went to bed.
I guess you could say that I am so unhappy right now that I will continue to check the job databases to see if anything comes up.
Today I woke up realivley early. I was showered and ready by 11:00 and Chris and I just stayed here until about 430. I treated him to supper and it was so delish. Then he treated me to an ice cream.
When we got back here to the apartment, I called my mom and dad. My dog was talking to me in the background (kind of) which made me miss her so much.
So anyway, other then the obvious things are going ok. I have work early tomorrow, which is good because then I can get the work over with. Im going to try to have the confidence that I need and hopefully I will have a good week.
Well, I must go because I dont know what else to write. Will keep posting thou to let you know if anything cool comes up!
PEACE!
Besides for the constant thinking about my most recent worry, things arent that bad. This weekend came and went in a blur. Almost too quick if you ask me. I had work yesterday from 11-430 . I was really glad to get home. I lazed around the apartment with Chris and had pizza for supper. I also finished a novel and talked to some friends. Around 730 we left here and went for a drive before we went to the movie, which Chris treated me for.
We got home around 12 or so and I done some online searching for a job until I went to bed.
I guess you could say that I am so unhappy right now that I will continue to check the job databases to see if anything comes up.
Today I woke up realivley early. I was showered and ready by 11:00 and Chris and I just stayed here until about 430. I treated him to supper and it was so delish. Then he treated me to an ice cream.
When we got back here to the apartment, I called my mom and dad. My dog was talking to me in the background (kind of) which made me miss her so much.
So anyway, other then the obvious things are going ok. I have work early tomorrow, which is good because then I can get the work over with. Im going to try to have the confidence that I need and hopefully I will have a good week.
Well, I must go because I dont know what else to write. Will keep posting thou to let you know if anything cool comes up!
PEACE!
Thursday, April 27, 2006
WANTED: SOME MORE CONFIDENCE
Yeh, its true peeps....I dont have much confidence and its clearly evident.....so clearly evident. And, because my confidence is low, especially in this particular situation,I wonder if this is the thing for me. Im starting to really have my doubts, so once again, the search begins.
I start that whole damn process over and its enough to make someone cry. I just hope I soon find what I am looking for before I go silly.
These last few days have been a little on the stressful side. I've lost sleep because Im worrying over things so much. I just need sleep, and I hope that I get it tonight.
Other then that, my days and nights are often filled with the same thing. Go to work, come home, grab a bite to eat, if theres time, go do something, and then watch a little bit of tv before I go to bed.
Oh yeh, I probably forgot to mention that I seen someone I didnt really think I was going to see this past Mondahy, and to tell the truth, someone I was avoiding. I'm not sure if he got the hint for him to leave me alone, but if he didnt, then, I dont know what else I got to do. Thats another thing thats totally frusterating.
Anyway, I will have a recap on Sunday night what happened this coming weekend. Hopefully things will be ok, and the weekend wont be as bad as I thought.
By the way, we arent going camping because I have work. Its also sposed to rain. That really sux.
Im out!
PeAcE
I start that whole damn process over and its enough to make someone cry. I just hope I soon find what I am looking for before I go silly.
These last few days have been a little on the stressful side. I've lost sleep because Im worrying over things so much. I just need sleep, and I hope that I get it tonight.
Other then that, my days and nights are often filled with the same thing. Go to work, come home, grab a bite to eat, if theres time, go do something, and then watch a little bit of tv before I go to bed.
Oh yeh, I probably forgot to mention that I seen someone I didnt really think I was going to see this past Mondahy, and to tell the truth, someone I was avoiding. I'm not sure if he got the hint for him to leave me alone, but if he didnt, then, I dont know what else I got to do. Thats another thing thats totally frusterating.
Anyway, I will have a recap on Sunday night what happened this coming weekend. Hopefully things will be ok, and the weekend wont be as bad as I thought.
By the way, we arent going camping because I have work. Its also sposed to rain. That really sux.
Im out!
PeAcE
Monday, April 24, 2006
One more time.
SUBTITLED: STILL SCARED AND NERVOUS:
so, I had a blog wrote last night and I realized after I had it published that I wanted to say something else. Funny thing is, it wouldnt work for me so I had to delete it and now since I have a quick minute I am going to try this again.
ANYWAY.
Yes. I am still scared and nervous even thou I have one day of actual work done. I lack the self-confidence which you need when it comes to this kind of job. I am also afraid that I might fool something up. But, Im only human and I make mistakes, so thats the way its going to have to be. Tomorrow is another day of the same thing, followed by three more days of that. I am really looking forward to Friday getting here!
Luckily I have had a great support system telling me that I was going to do ok. Thank you so much guys. Your words of encouragement made things easier.
In the other entry I wrote I talked about my weekend. Since I dont have that much time (because I want to get to bed) I will give you a quick synopsis.
Friday I was in a very unpleasent mood. I wanted to go, but its a good thing I never, mainly for the fact that I was very tired and in bed by 1045. Saturday, C and I lazed around here for a few hours and then went out after we were showered up. Saturday night we went to my sisters house and had some drinks. I didnt have that many to tell you the truth.
And then on Sunday, it was such a beautiful day. I could have actually got a tan if I tried..but I didnt, so oh well.
So now its Monday and I have one day punched, which is actually a little bit of the weight off my shoulders. Hopefully tomorrow will be easier.
I'm Out!!
Peace!!!
so, I had a blog wrote last night and I realized after I had it published that I wanted to say something else. Funny thing is, it wouldnt work for me so I had to delete it and now since I have a quick minute I am going to try this again.
ANYWAY.
Yes. I am still scared and nervous even thou I have one day of actual work done. I lack the self-confidence which you need when it comes to this kind of job. I am also afraid that I might fool something up. But, Im only human and I make mistakes, so thats the way its going to have to be. Tomorrow is another day of the same thing, followed by three more days of that. I am really looking forward to Friday getting here!
Luckily I have had a great support system telling me that I was going to do ok. Thank you so much guys. Your words of encouragement made things easier.
In the other entry I wrote I talked about my weekend. Since I dont have that much time (because I want to get to bed) I will give you a quick synopsis.
Friday I was in a very unpleasent mood. I wanted to go, but its a good thing I never, mainly for the fact that I was very tired and in bed by 1045. Saturday, C and I lazed around here for a few hours and then went out after we were showered up. Saturday night we went to my sisters house and had some drinks. I didnt have that many to tell you the truth.
And then on Sunday, it was such a beautiful day. I could have actually got a tan if I tried..but I didnt, so oh well.
So now its Monday and I have one day punched, which is actually a little bit of the weight off my shoulders. Hopefully tomorrow will be easier.
I'm Out!!
Peace!!!
Friday, April 21, 2006
Week 1 Done!
So, looks like the first week of work is finally over. We had training all week, so it wasnt too bad. Just lots of information being crammed in my poor little brain and I actually start the actual work on Monday. Boy am I ever nervous! But I was told by a great friend that taking deep breaths usually helps She was in a similar job and she knows exactly what I am going thru.
The training class was great. Of course I was really shy when I started and I didnt know how to really approach anyone, but I eventually came out of my shell and before you knew it, I was the crazy girl I normally am in company.
All of the class was right on, the trainer was right on and I had a great week. Except of course, getting up at 7 am. That didnt really turn me on.
SO ANYWAY....C is asleep on the couch right now and I am wondering if we are going to do anything fun tonight. I want to so bad. It seems like Ive been too busy all week doing work stuff or going to bed early and not really enjoying myself, so now it is fun time. Tomorrow I believe I am having a few drinks tomorrow night. Im not doin it tonight because its been a long week and I'm still on the tired side.
And obviously C is too. LOL.
Anyway, I really dont know what else to talk about. So I guess thats it for this posting. I will hopefully write more on Sunday night telling you of my weekend!
PEACE!
Sunday, April 16, 2006
A new change.
Well, I know I said before that I would keep my blog up to date, but I havnt really done that. I am certainly going to try to go every few days from now on. I know its going to be hard thou. Blah.
Tomorrow I start a new but temporary job. To be honest I am a bundle of nerves. I havnt worked since the yc (and that was way too familiar for me) so I will meet new people....a shy and under-confident person starting a new. I know it has to be done and maybe thats why I am so scared. I hate being so shy and everything. Its probably the worst when you're trying to meet new people. Tomorrow and the remainder of the week is only training thou so it shouldnt be too bad!
Keep your fingers crossed for me. :)
This past weekend C and I went away camping. It was really nice and relaxing to get away, just the two of us. It was great going away and being in a camper with the man you love.
So, we arrived at the camp site around 4:30...maybe later...I wasnt really paying attention to the time. We set everything up, I made the bed, swept the floor and pretty soon C had supper started. Theres nothing like barbequed hotdogs to start off a weekend....bbq hotdogs are ten times better then boiled hotdogs. In my opinion anyway.
During supper, wind started to pick up and it started to rain...we knew that we werent going to get a night outside. But we were ok with that. We stayed in the camper and played cards instead.....C beat me. LOL. We were in bed pretty early that night which actually didnt bother me that much.
Friday we woke up and it was still not the greatest weather in the world. C cooked ham and eggs for brunch and then we both got ready...shower, clean up..etc. Later on we went for a walk...a very long walk, which is something else that I didnt mind because I've been really lazy lately...compared to before anyway. We walked to the edge of town on this little trail behind the houses We seen cows and horses, and I think even some Canadian Geese.(thats what they sounded like). Then we walked back to the camper through the town after Chris got some cookies and a coffee and looked at all the old houses. I actually couldnt believe the size of the trees. They were huge.
I was tired when we got back so I decided to lie down for a while and read and then try to catch a few z's. When I awoke, the sun was shining out of the sky and it was so beautiful out...definetly camping weather. C put some chicken on the grill for supper and eventually we ate. After supper, I read for a little bit more(hey, the book was getting good) and then went outside. We(well I) roasted marshmallows and talked which was incredibly relaxing. Bed time came a little later that night. I only had one drink because thats all I was really in the mood for. I felt a little sick later on throughout the night. Wasnt liking that, but by the next morning I felt better......
And guess what? I got some Easter chocolates and a big bunny that is so adorable from my wonderful man! :):):)
I wasnt in the mood for anything greasey for breakfast so I stuck to cereal. While C was in the shower I put my Easter gift out for him..some of his favourite candy and a card.
For the remainder of the day we kept ourselves busy. We walked around the little town and in the different stores, we played some more cards, we played pool. We were together and thats the only thing that mattered to me. The weather started getting a little gross towards supper but I was out as long as I could tolerate the cold....then I had to go in. C was in around 930 and we decided to have another go at cards. I lost for the third time.
Today we woke up and had our breakfast at 9:00 and started getting everything ready to go. We were out of the park by 11:00...actually earlier and back here by 1:00. The rest of the day we just stayed here....C treated us to Chinese for supper(way too much food) and then he watched the game and I tried to figure out what to wear to work.
I just want to say that this past weekend was the best Ive had since I have been here. We may go again next weekend if my schedule allows it and my sister and brother in law may be going as well...and I cant forget they're adorable dog!
I must go to bed now thou. 7:30 comes way to early. I just hope that I sleep.
PEACE OUT!
Tomorrow I start a new but temporary job. To be honest I am a bundle of nerves. I havnt worked since the yc (and that was way too familiar for me) so I will meet new people....a shy and under-confident person starting a new. I know it has to be done and maybe thats why I am so scared. I hate being so shy and everything. Its probably the worst when you're trying to meet new people. Tomorrow and the remainder of the week is only training thou so it shouldnt be too bad!
Keep your fingers crossed for me. :)
This past weekend C and I went away camping. It was really nice and relaxing to get away, just the two of us. It was great going away and being in a camper with the man you love.
So, we arrived at the camp site around 4:30...maybe later...I wasnt really paying attention to the time. We set everything up, I made the bed, swept the floor and pretty soon C had supper started. Theres nothing like barbequed hotdogs to start off a weekend....bbq hotdogs are ten times better then boiled hotdogs. In my opinion anyway.
During supper, wind started to pick up and it started to rain...we knew that we werent going to get a night outside. But we were ok with that. We stayed in the camper and played cards instead.....C beat me. LOL. We were in bed pretty early that night which actually didnt bother me that much.
Friday we woke up and it was still not the greatest weather in the world. C cooked ham and eggs for brunch and then we both got ready...shower, clean up..etc. Later on we went for a walk...a very long walk, which is something else that I didnt mind because I've been really lazy lately...compared to before anyway. We walked to the edge of town on this little trail behind the houses We seen cows and horses, and I think even some Canadian Geese.(thats what they sounded like). Then we walked back to the camper through the town after Chris got some cookies and a coffee and looked at all the old houses. I actually couldnt believe the size of the trees. They were huge.
I was tired when we got back so I decided to lie down for a while and read and then try to catch a few z's. When I awoke, the sun was shining out of the sky and it was so beautiful out...definetly camping weather. C put some chicken on the grill for supper and eventually we ate. After supper, I read for a little bit more(hey, the book was getting good) and then went outside. We(well I) roasted marshmallows and talked which was incredibly relaxing. Bed time came a little later that night. I only had one drink because thats all I was really in the mood for. I felt a little sick later on throughout the night. Wasnt liking that, but by the next morning I felt better......
And guess what? I got some Easter chocolates and a big bunny that is so adorable from my wonderful man! :):):)
I wasnt in the mood for anything greasey for breakfast so I stuck to cereal. While C was in the shower I put my Easter gift out for him..some of his favourite candy and a card.
For the remainder of the day we kept ourselves busy. We walked around the little town and in the different stores, we played some more cards, we played pool. We were together and thats the only thing that mattered to me. The weather started getting a little gross towards supper but I was out as long as I could tolerate the cold....then I had to go in. C was in around 930 and we decided to have another go at cards. I lost for the third time.
Today we woke up and had our breakfast at 9:00 and started getting everything ready to go. We were out of the park by 11:00...actually earlier and back here by 1:00. The rest of the day we just stayed here....C treated us to Chinese for supper(way too much food) and then he watched the game and I tried to figure out what to wear to work.
I just want to say that this past weekend was the best Ive had since I have been here. We may go again next weekend if my schedule allows it and my sister and brother in law may be going as well...and I cant forget they're adorable dog!
I must go to bed now thou. 7:30 comes way to early. I just hope that I sleep.
PEACE OUT!
Monday, March 27, 2006
CHANGES
so peeps. Its been a little over three months since I posted anything on this thing. I know its a little slack, but really, we only got this computer like a little over a week ago.....cant go online and post blogs if I aint got any computer! Know'm saying?
Anyway, its funny how things suddenly change when you move somewhere else. Like, the way you live and how it seems like everything basically goes on without you back in your hometown. I dont know..maybe I sound childish or whatever, but when you're in a city where you know hardly anyone, you wonder if people back home really give a damn in how your doing. Dont get me wrong....I know there are those friends that really do care about me and wonder how I am doing...but then there are those others who it seems like the more I try to talk to them the more they seem to be busy with their lives without me. And you would never know how truly depressing that is. I know Im not calling home or friends very often but in all honesty, thats whats keeping me from getting homesick.
I just dont like this, not in the least. Nobody can possibly understand the lonliness I feel sometimes...it eats me up. I'm just hoping that eventually I will find a great friend close by.
Maybe I need to let some of the past go. I look at pictures of people I used to consider my closest friends and cant help but feel left out! I have to control the urge to lash out at them....but then in these cases, the ones I did consider my closest friends before really didnt make much of an effort before I moved which makes me even madder. It seems like after the Summer everything changed....no...correction...things changed way before that.....it just took me a little while to realize it. so....Im letting go....if they are too busy without their lives then fine. I'll be thankful for the friends that really do give a damn about me.
I know theres only one person who reads my blogs that I know, so I just want it to be clear that this is DEFINETLY NOT DIRECTED AT U.
Im just really bitter.
Too bitter really!
So no hard feelings hopefully.
Anyway, I think I bitched enough. More probably tomorrow.
PEACE OUT
Anyway, its funny how things suddenly change when you move somewhere else. Like, the way you live and how it seems like everything basically goes on without you back in your hometown. I dont know..maybe I sound childish or whatever, but when you're in a city where you know hardly anyone, you wonder if people back home really give a damn in how your doing. Dont get me wrong....I know there are those friends that really do care about me and wonder how I am doing...but then there are those others who it seems like the more I try to talk to them the more they seem to be busy with their lives without me. And you would never know how truly depressing that is. I know Im not calling home or friends very often but in all honesty, thats whats keeping me from getting homesick.
I just dont like this, not in the least. Nobody can possibly understand the lonliness I feel sometimes...it eats me up. I'm just hoping that eventually I will find a great friend close by.
Maybe I need to let some of the past go. I look at pictures of people I used to consider my closest friends and cant help but feel left out! I have to control the urge to lash out at them....but then in these cases, the ones I did consider my closest friends before really didnt make much of an effort before I moved which makes me even madder. It seems like after the Summer everything changed....no...correction...things changed way before that.....it just took me a little while to realize it. so....Im letting go....if they are too busy without their lives then fine. I'll be thankful for the friends that really do give a damn about me.
I know theres only one person who reads my blogs that I know, so I just want it to be clear that this is DEFINETLY NOT DIRECTED AT U.
Im just really bitter.
Too bitter really!
So no hard feelings hopefully.
Anyway, I think I bitched enough. More probably tomorrow.
PEACE OUT
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Eatin goolash with mustard..oh the heartburn Im gonna have tonight!
SUBTITLED: Leaving in 4 DAYS!!! YIKES
I can't believe that I only have 4 more days left in my hometown.....it might even only be three depending on the weather. But I really want it to be four. Theres something I have to do on Monday....which is going to be extremley hard for me. It will be ten years to the day that a dear friend of mine tragically passed away. I think its going to be an emotional day for me. It always is. Last year was especially hard....and for some reason this year is hard too. I guess realizing that its been a decade since he's been gone, makes my heart break! Having so much time makes me think about stuff more. I guess you never get over the loss of a friend no matter how fast time goes.
So, I am doing a terrible job with this packing. I feel like I am getting NOWHERE with it. Do you even realize how much clothes I have to go through and how much I need to figure out whats going with me now and whats staying. The main thing is that I have my cds and stuff like that packed......BUT...mom informed me today that I have to repack everything if I dont want it to get beat up. Oh the fun of it all. I guess thats a job for Saturday.....if Im not TOO hungover.
Im really going to miss all of my Newfie friends. Its gonna be tough starting a new and different life in another province, but as I have realized this Summer past, I cant live here for the rest of my life!
Well, thats pretty much all I can think of to write right now. Im gonna try to blog before I move! I cant make any promises though! Im far from perfect ya know!
Peace Out!!
I can't believe that I only have 4 more days left in my hometown.....it might even only be three depending on the weather. But I really want it to be four. Theres something I have to do on Monday....which is going to be extremley hard for me. It will be ten years to the day that a dear friend of mine tragically passed away. I think its going to be an emotional day for me. It always is. Last year was especially hard....and for some reason this year is hard too. I guess realizing that its been a decade since he's been gone, makes my heart break! Having so much time makes me think about stuff more. I guess you never get over the loss of a friend no matter how fast time goes.
So, I am doing a terrible job with this packing. I feel like I am getting NOWHERE with it. Do you even realize how much clothes I have to go through and how much I need to figure out whats going with me now and whats staying. The main thing is that I have my cds and stuff like that packed......BUT...mom informed me today that I have to repack everything if I dont want it to get beat up. Oh the fun of it all. I guess thats a job for Saturday.....if Im not TOO hungover.
Im really going to miss all of my Newfie friends. Its gonna be tough starting a new and different life in another province, but as I have realized this Summer past, I cant live here for the rest of my life!
Well, thats pretty much all I can think of to write right now. Im gonna try to blog before I move! I cant make any promises though! Im far from perfect ya know!
Peace Out!!
Monday, January 16, 2006
Thinking
I am feeling sad right now because one of my closest friends lost a very important part of her life. Tiff, I know it is hard..and sometimes you just dont know what to say in situations like these. All I can say to you is that I am here for you, I'll be a shoulder to lean on.
Lucky was such a great puppy...no matter how scared I was of him sometimes, I still loved him. I remember so well how we used to play in the yard while I was waiting for you and I would throw the rocks around and he loved that so much! He was always so full of life. And even when you went to town to do your studies I would walk past him and he would be sitting out in the yard and I would say hello to him. Im going to miss him so much as well. Rest in Peace Lucky. You will forever be missed!
Lucky was such a great puppy...no matter how scared I was of him sometimes, I still loved him. I remember so well how we used to play in the yard while I was waiting for you and I would throw the rocks around and he loved that so much! He was always so full of life. And even when you went to town to do your studies I would walk past him and he would be sitting out in the yard and I would say hello to him. Im going to miss him so much as well. Rest in Peace Lucky. You will forever be missed!
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Year in Review....at last
This is it people. The long awaited year in review. Tiff..my humblest apologies for taking so long. You know how it is when you're lazy and you just dont want to do anything! Anyway, here goes!! And by the way..it may not be that interesting.
January
January came and went with the blink of an eye. I took the first week off to "dig out" my room as my mom calls it. I have to be honest and tell you that I didnt get that far. How come it is when you have all this free time to do stuff that you just dont want to get around to doin anything? I done what I could do anyway. Also throughout the month I got addicted to my PS2....going thru my usual spurts which lasted about 3 days! Yeh..the game got difficult, I got impatient so I gave up!! Thats my defeatist attitude for you..if thats what you can call it.
Unfortunatly throughout January some tragedy took place. The really crazy and scary part of it is that this tragedy took place two days before the 9 year anniversary of another tragedy...one that I to this day havnt got over!
February
Hmmm What can I say about February? Lots and lots of snowdays!
Also, the month of looove. I always enjoy Valentines Day because its a great day to show the person you love how much you really care for them. I cant explain my self on this one though....Valentines was a little different for me because of certain situations that I dont want to elaborate on.
One of the major highlights of February was that I was asked to perform in a variety show. Now anyone who knows me, knows that I love getting on stage and just being silly. I may come off as a quiet young woman, but it doesnt take me long to really show my true colors. So of course, I accepted. And Im glad I did! Cuz I loooved it! And it also preapred me for the following variety show in March.
March
March proved to be a very interesting month. Not like excellente interesting but...just interesting.
For starters it was a month of many changes. Some things just werent working out the way that they should have so with much thinking and consideration I decided to make a big step. I'm just thankful that I got to have the experience and the 4 years that came along with it.
As I have said before, we also had another variety show for my work. I got on stage as much as I possibly could. (Trust me on this one.) A lot of time went into this show and I look forward to it every year!
More changes came with March. I met new friends and hung out with a different crowd. I drank a little bit and had a good time just being me!
April
One highlight of this month was going on a business trip with my boss (and also friend) Harold. I have to admitt though that I felt very out of place. I learned a nice bit of stuff though so that was alright.
In March I got into a new relationship and things were going good. (I dont really want to elaborate on my relationships because I dont feel comfortable doin so..besides, theres some information that should be kept private.)
Tiffany, you came out for a great night of Karaoke. What a laugh it was. You know, Im a shy person...or at least that is the impression I give off first, but when I want to be noticed I will get up and do pratically anything..especially when I have a couple of drinks in me! I sang my little heart out and even had my name drawed for 3 free dance passes to the club. It was sweet!
May
Spring was blooming and the weather was finally getting alittle bit warmer....thank goodness. The gross thing was, was that I got a terrible cold during this month. Maybe that doesnt sound like interesting news, but when you work at the same place in the same town for so many years there really isnt that much to talk about! Luckily after a couple of days my fever broke and I was better in no time.
Geez, its really funny because I dont know what to say. So Im going to go on with the rest of the year..sorry that May was so Lame!
June to August
Work was the same as normal, but the bonus part was that we were getting lots of people hired on which gave me more time to do the administration!
Holy geez...I got like nothing at all to talk about...so I decided to clue up these three months in one! July came but not with a heatwave.
Oh yeh, I should mention that mom made a discovery about me that changed alot of stuff....but I wont get into that!
Anyway, like I was saying the Summer came and actually flew pretty quickly. I was really busy trying to plan out special events, and gettin things ready for the festival. Now the festival dance is something I look forward to every year. This year, my long time friend tiffany came out to celebrate with me. I also had the pleasure of meeting Corey...you''re awesome buddy. Dont ever forget that.
On August 27 My parents and I started a long 3 day drive (and boat trip) across the province to NS. And trust me, When you are stuck in a van for 3 days you do a lot of thinking.
September to November
Being away from home and my friends and even my puppy dog made me super homesick. But, I quickly got over that. I met the most wonderful man while I was there. And my sisters wedding was beautiful. Yeh, I actually wore a dress.
While I was away, I got to know the man who is now a part of my life and I fell HARD! When I got back to NL I knew what I had to do. It didint go the greatest but I knew there was nothing left for me in my hometown and I knew that the relationship I was in before wasnt working.
Also, I made a huge decision in what I was going to do with my life. I decided that I was going to make a big step and move to NS with my wonderful new man. I thought for sure that my parents were not going to like the idea that much but when I sat them down during Thanksgiving Day weekend they were very supportive.
October brought a lot of things into perspective. Alot of really terrible happened so it really put into perspective just how short life really is. Thats why you have to live your life to the Absolute fullest!
And one more thing before I end these months, I put in my resignation paper.....talk about your big step!
December
This was an awesome month. Christmas and my birthday were two great things to celebrate. I turned 26 this year. I went to a party with my good friend on my birthday as well.
My boyfriend came here on the 16 which was great because I havnt seen him for near 3 months, and you can only imagine how much I missed him! Also on the 16th we had our Annual Christmas party which was also my going away party and I got a rose and a beautiful watch as a parting gift. The youth centre will always be a place I will hold close to my heart for years to come!
That night we went to the club and I had an awesome time just being with him. For the remainder of the weekend we spent most of the time together as much as we could, and then on Monday, he headed back to his hometown to spend Christmas with this family!
Christmas was full of surprises for everyone. I got my luggage set which is going to be a big help when I move!
Boxing Day arrived as well with Chris not far behind. We exchanged Christmas gifts and he spoiled me.....he gave me so much including a beautiful ring. That night we went to see one of the most awesomeist bands ever!
Two days later we went to his hometown and I spent a week there. Also, rang the new year in with a bang and new friends. Probably one of the best NYE's I have ever had. Tiff, I am once again really sorry for not getting the opportunity to see you before I came out! Distance was a major thing in our way...and of course my self inflicted sickness.
So as you see, that was my whole year. There wasnt really a lot to say but I tried my best.
PEACE OUT!
January
January came and went with the blink of an eye. I took the first week off to "dig out" my room as my mom calls it. I have to be honest and tell you that I didnt get that far. How come it is when you have all this free time to do stuff that you just dont want to get around to doin anything? I done what I could do anyway. Also throughout the month I got addicted to my PS2....going thru my usual spurts which lasted about 3 days! Yeh..the game got difficult, I got impatient so I gave up!! Thats my defeatist attitude for you..if thats what you can call it.
Unfortunatly throughout January some tragedy took place. The really crazy and scary part of it is that this tragedy took place two days before the 9 year anniversary of another tragedy...one that I to this day havnt got over!
February
Hmmm What can I say about February? Lots and lots of snowdays!
Also, the month of looove. I always enjoy Valentines Day because its a great day to show the person you love how much you really care for them. I cant explain my self on this one though....Valentines was a little different for me because of certain situations that I dont want to elaborate on.
One of the major highlights of February was that I was asked to perform in a variety show. Now anyone who knows me, knows that I love getting on stage and just being silly. I may come off as a quiet young woman, but it doesnt take me long to really show my true colors. So of course, I accepted. And Im glad I did! Cuz I loooved it! And it also preapred me for the following variety show in March.
March
March proved to be a very interesting month. Not like excellente interesting but...just interesting.
For starters it was a month of many changes. Some things just werent working out the way that they should have so with much thinking and consideration I decided to make a big step. I'm just thankful that I got to have the experience and the 4 years that came along with it.
As I have said before, we also had another variety show for my work. I got on stage as much as I possibly could. (Trust me on this one.) A lot of time went into this show and I look forward to it every year!
More changes came with March. I met new friends and hung out with a different crowd. I drank a little bit and had a good time just being me!
April
One highlight of this month was going on a business trip with my boss (and also friend) Harold. I have to admitt though that I felt very out of place. I learned a nice bit of stuff though so that was alright.
In March I got into a new relationship and things were going good. (I dont really want to elaborate on my relationships because I dont feel comfortable doin so..besides, theres some information that should be kept private.)
Tiffany, you came out for a great night of Karaoke. What a laugh it was. You know, Im a shy person...or at least that is the impression I give off first, but when I want to be noticed I will get up and do pratically anything..especially when I have a couple of drinks in me! I sang my little heart out and even had my name drawed for 3 free dance passes to the club. It was sweet!
May
Spring was blooming and the weather was finally getting alittle bit warmer....thank goodness. The gross thing was, was that I got a terrible cold during this month. Maybe that doesnt sound like interesting news, but when you work at the same place in the same town for so many years there really isnt that much to talk about! Luckily after a couple of days my fever broke and I was better in no time.
Geez, its really funny because I dont know what to say. So Im going to go on with the rest of the year..sorry that May was so Lame!
June to August
Work was the same as normal, but the bonus part was that we were getting lots of people hired on which gave me more time to do the administration!
Holy geez...I got like nothing at all to talk about...so I decided to clue up these three months in one! July came but not with a heatwave.
Oh yeh, I should mention that mom made a discovery about me that changed alot of stuff....but I wont get into that!
Anyway, like I was saying the Summer came and actually flew pretty quickly. I was really busy trying to plan out special events, and gettin things ready for the festival. Now the festival dance is something I look forward to every year. This year, my long time friend tiffany came out to celebrate with me. I also had the pleasure of meeting Corey...you''re awesome buddy. Dont ever forget that.
On August 27 My parents and I started a long 3 day drive (and boat trip) across the province to NS. And trust me, When you are stuck in a van for 3 days you do a lot of thinking.
September to November
Being away from home and my friends and even my puppy dog made me super homesick. But, I quickly got over that. I met the most wonderful man while I was there. And my sisters wedding was beautiful. Yeh, I actually wore a dress.
While I was away, I got to know the man who is now a part of my life and I fell HARD! When I got back to NL I knew what I had to do. It didint go the greatest but I knew there was nothing left for me in my hometown and I knew that the relationship I was in before wasnt working.
Also, I made a huge decision in what I was going to do with my life. I decided that I was going to make a big step and move to NS with my wonderful new man. I thought for sure that my parents were not going to like the idea that much but when I sat them down during Thanksgiving Day weekend they were very supportive.
October brought a lot of things into perspective. Alot of really terrible happened so it really put into perspective just how short life really is. Thats why you have to live your life to the Absolute fullest!
And one more thing before I end these months, I put in my resignation paper.....talk about your big step!
December
This was an awesome month. Christmas and my birthday were two great things to celebrate. I turned 26 this year. I went to a party with my good friend on my birthday as well.
My boyfriend came here on the 16 which was great because I havnt seen him for near 3 months, and you can only imagine how much I missed him! Also on the 16th we had our Annual Christmas party which was also my going away party and I got a rose and a beautiful watch as a parting gift. The youth centre will always be a place I will hold close to my heart for years to come!
That night we went to the club and I had an awesome time just being with him. For the remainder of the weekend we spent most of the time together as much as we could, and then on Monday, he headed back to his hometown to spend Christmas with this family!
Christmas was full of surprises for everyone. I got my luggage set which is going to be a big help when I move!
Boxing Day arrived as well with Chris not far behind. We exchanged Christmas gifts and he spoiled me.....he gave me so much including a beautiful ring. That night we went to see one of the most awesomeist bands ever!
Two days later we went to his hometown and I spent a week there. Also, rang the new year in with a bang and new friends. Probably one of the best NYE's I have ever had. Tiff, I am once again really sorry for not getting the opportunity to see you before I came out! Distance was a major thing in our way...and of course my self inflicted sickness.
So as you see, that was my whole year. There wasnt really a lot to say but I tried my best.
PEACE OUT!
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