Potato Chips and Koolaid for dinner...yum yum

I know what you are thinking! Thats not a very healthy lunch, but I dont really care. I am in super lazy mode today and the last thing I feel like doing is cooking something remotely close to a meal!
I should let you know that I am feeling better today then what I was yesterday...a little bit on the bored side and all, but that comes with having time off...and at least I dont have to deal with any kids today which is a bonus.
After all the worrying and stuff I was going through yesterday morning, a little light shone through the tunnel. Its all about my job to tell you the truth and I got a bit of a time to make this decision but I think my mind is close to made up. Im going to talk to Chris about it tonight to see what he thinks about it....to see if he thinks it makes sense....I think it do but I dont know what hes going to say! I just hope that he agrees. I was told about this yesterday..meanwhile 24 hours later I am still thinking about it.
I need to get out of there and I need time to myself so I dear say Im going to do it!
YAAAAAAY!!
I guess there is always a little light at the end of a long dark tunnel.
Anyway, time to go. Sorry for the short entry!
Peace!

owwww...my head!

I have a massive headache and I cant seem to get rid of it. I had it last night...guess Im stressin about stuff again....that usually happens anyway when I have a lot on my mind!
For starters I am not in a great mood for a reason I just dont want to get into...sorry people. Thats just the way I am feeling right now.
And..I dont know...maybe I should just live with the fact that its going to be a few weeks before I see him again, but I find that impossible. I could be doing ok for awhile (you know, when Im doing something) but then wham! I get here and I start thinking about it and it just hurts so much inside.
Yesterday was a dull dull dull day! I was talking to Corey for a while which was good. I enjoy talking to you Corey. You too Tiff. I am hoping that you will come out some weekend soon to at least save some of my sanity because I AM going crazy here. If its not one thing its another.
I plan on going to see you guys hopefully the first weekend in November if things go my way!
(which rite now I doubt that they will)
I have so much on my plate..and its really only little problems but the little problems add up and become one massive headache.....I wish this headache would go away.
And somewhere between now and Christmas I have the break the news on what I plan on doing when I move. Not looking forward to that! If only I had some great guy to help me get through it, it would be alright!
I was up pretty late last night and early again this morning. So, Im already drained and I havnt even started working yet. Holy shit..I hate my job so much right now. Im not even sure how much more of it I can take but I do know that Im close to the edge of just saying "Screw this garbage." Yeh. Its THAT bad!
I know I sound really contrary, and I wish that there was something I could do to cheer myself up, but I dont know. All the bad news I got last night and the day before is really taking a toll on me and I am hoping and praying that I get some better news within the next couple of days because I cant handle any more bad news! I really really cant!
Anywho, I should go and get ready for work...gotta walk and all that jazz (yay)....that means more time to think and I honestly dont want to be at it.
Peace!

CRASH!!! Work damnit!

Yeh, my comp has been on the blink there the last few days and I had to get my boss to come save it for me once again. I'm soon going to say to hell with this computer and just invest in a new one. If only it were that simple, which it is not considering I am planning on getting the hell out of this hole in the very near future and I need money to do so.
I dont like my home town anymore. Day by day I wake up and realize there is absolutly nothing here for me. My job sucks, I might have three real friends here in all total, and I feel totally uncomfortable walking home from work..for very obvious reasons....which I shouldnt have to.
And the biggest thing that bums me out about this place is that fact that I am so far away from Chris. I tell myself that I can deal with it and that time is going to go by quicker then I think but then I just think about it and it totally puts me in a low mood. A lot of people could look at me and tell me I am really rushing into this, but I feel so strongly about him and I just know it is meant to be. I was told the other week that "I like people too easily". (this is not implied at my two closest friends from town). How the hell would this person know anyway? They dont know the feelings I get when I think of him. The way I feel about him...I dont know...I could laugh and cry and do everything all at the same time....and the way he proves that he cares for me? Thats so overwhelming, and I really like it.
He doesnt want to see me hurt...especially by the previous guy in my life. I know I am ranting on again about him, but my feelings for him are so unstoppable..and I hope they never end.
As for the other guy.....I wrote him an email and told him how I felt, how much he hurt me and told him to move on with his life because I have! It was something I had to do...I am not the type of person to go and intentionally hurt someone else....but the way it was going was getting out of hand!
Anyway, I have to work again pretty much all week which Im not looking forward to. That really doesnt seem like fun. Cant hack the same thing over for another week. I could cry thinking about it.

I guess I should go now thou. Gettin hungry and I been at this computer all night almost.
Comment me. Tell me what you think!
More hopefully tomorrow or the next day!
Peace

Get Over It!

My computer is incredibly slow once again tonight. I dont know what the hell is wrong with it, but oh well, what the hell are you goin to do?
My mouse also really sucks.
Anyway, the last two or three days have been good...well today at towards the middle on was not the greatest.
Chris arrived here around 4:30 on Monday...surprising me because he called me up and told me he was still home while he was in my driveway the whole time. Those are the types of surprises I like!
Anyway, for a while we just relaxed and talked for a while. Then we got supper on the go....he wanted ME to cook. Yeeeeh! My thoughts exactly. They got a great laugh at me mixing the meat and stuff...Chris especially! But they turned out alright, so I cant really complain. After supper we walked to the yc so that I could show him that wonderful establishment in which I work, dropped in the liqour store, and came back here to watch a movie. Im not sure why I bought the coolers....I didnt even drink em...maybe I had no intention of drinking em...I dont even know.
We eventually said good night and went on to bed. It really sucked that he was just next door to me...only inches away and I couldn't be with him.....so.....frigin..unreachable!
The next day, I was out of bed by 830 and down stairs with Chris. And then by 1100 we were driving to Marystown. The whole day we pretty much spent together, just being with each other which is exactly what we wanted. At one point after supper he even called my sister and started to give her a hard time.
Today was sad. I mean that really. I was really sooky because I didnt want him to leave....Im even having a bit of a hard time writing this now. We went and had lunch, came back to the house, and just sat with one another.
And at 138 (or something) I had to leave him until December....it honestly felt like cadet camp all over again. Im so attached to this guy and even thou I got hurt in the last relationship and my heart is a little wary, I still feel good about this relationship. So for the next few days its going to be hard to be away from him....because this will be the first time since I met him that we are going to be apart for more then a week. Three fucken months...I cant make it for three days, let alone three months.
And more then anything right now, I just want to get away from here. C is really rubbing me the wrong way..he wont get over it. I need time to sort through my feelings after what he said on the other blogs....it hurt me so much. I know I hurt him, but the hurt I gave him was unintentional.
Anyway, I guess I should attempt sleep. Its going to be hard considering I am so....down....but I have the phone calls to look forward to and I also have December, which I really am looking foward to.
He means everything to me! He really does.
Peace Out!

Incredibly Hyper

Yes. so tru. Its really late in the night and even thou it has been a long 3 days I am still on top of the world!
Right now I am so elated (is that the correct word?) that nothing could bring me down. I guess not anyway...not right now anyway.
I just got off the phone with Chris for the third time since 7:00 (he called me, I called him...etc etc.) and even thou I say "soooooo" alot because I dont know what to say to him, it still feels great to talk to him!
I've never felt like this in ages. And it feels so frigin wonderful! So I dont care anymore...I have to declare it. World, I am in looooove. There is no other way to describe it!

Im goin to talk about my trip to St. Johns and since now!
The bus ride was so bumpy and it was incredibly hard to get to sleep....I was after bein awake at 5:30 because I was so gosh durn excited. Also I had a lot of things on my mind, basically what was said to me on my previous blogs....that upset me alot.
But, I knew that when I seen Chris' face all my bad feelings would go away...and that they did!
We spent an amazing day and night together.....just bein together...just bein near him.
I also seen my awesome best friend Tiff....Tiff I love ya girl..I had a great time with you....minus that potent beer that I had to "force" you to drink....Corey...wish I seen you buddy! hopefully in Oct.
But getting back on topic. When Wednesday rolled around (which I didnt want it to) we lazed around and stuff for a while, had lunch, and then headed out to the mall. It was hard saying good bye (at least until Monday) and of course, all I thought of was him on the way home.

I really cant wait until Monday.

I seen Clint the other day on the way home from work. We talked but it felt really awkward for me, so I am still a bundle of mixed emotions on that. I know we will never be together again.
But its late and I still have things to do, so peace!

I'm not sure why theres no title thing for this blog, but Id like to call it, "New blog, new beginning".
I needed to start a new blog because the old one was just reminders of how things used to be and it kept getting rehashed over and over again, so I need a change. And change is what Im going to get.
This is not going to be a long blog because I am due at work in approx 50 minutes, and I have to walk and go to the drugstore, plus Im thinking about renting a movie so that I dont go completely insane tonight after I get my phone call! There is going to be a lot of boring nights ahead of me, I can see it. But CHANGE IS GOOD!
To all my friends who have supported me thank you so much! Your kind words and advice have been a great help to me.
But to those who thought I was doin the world wrong, well, I dont know what to say.
Anyway, I am going to go now. Time is short. more tonight! Peace!