Yup.....long time I know! Crazy! Just didnt really have the energy to write in this thing considering I have been driving myself crazy for about a month. Today, I just dont feel the exact best.
Ive been eating a lot of fibre and stuff and thats not fun, but its what the docter ordered so I guess I got to listen! Trying to cut back on pop and stuff like that....Im really proud of myself. I have had like one pop all week. Been sticking to water and juice which is a good choice....especially if I want to feel better.
Damn whole wheat bread makes me feel like I got about 100 extra pounds!
So right now I am waiting to hear from my man! Im not going to get into any specific details except I want to talk to him because I was talking to him last night and he was sposd to fly then but it got delayed due to weather. He was then sposed to fly out this morning, and Im after trying his cell phone 3 or 4 times and it is turned off! BLAH BLAH BLAH!
Im gonna try again probably later! Could you really blame me?
So today is the day after my bday! Im 26 now and I dont feel any different....just closed to 30. I feel like I am really climbing up that hill of life. Oh well, just as long as I live my life til I know I have lived it.
I think I need to stop worrying about stuff and learn to love my life. Im moving away soon, and thats a big step but its a good step! I mean, I only have like a little over a month left here and I start a new life with my man!
Anyway, girls night out tonight...not really in the mood for drinking thou to be quite honest. I dont feel like doin much!
IM OUT! PEACE!!
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Long time yet no blog
Well, theres a blog now, but what can I say? I got realllly reallly lazy with it! Really cant help that with so much on my mind...worrying and thinking and all that shit! I hate this so much!
I think the biggest problem I have right now is the fact that I dont get to talk to Chris everynight which makes me miss him a lot more.
I think I am going to burst from insanity waiting so long for him to get back here and for me to see him again. I hate being away from him this long, and I hate not getting to talk to him everynight....but listen...I am not going to give up. Knowing that Im doing stuff and that hes thinking about me gets me through another day. Also, knowing that I am soon going to be with him helps too. Whenever he calls me, it puts a smile on my face...espeically after an incredibly shitty day!
So no matter what, I love him and I am never going to let go. My heart is so sure of this.
I have had an incredibly shitty week...well this week is a little bit better then last week. Things seem to be looking up for me......last week was just bad thing after bad thing happening. Im so thankful for a lot of things. There are still some things that are going to put me down in the dumps thou and I guess only time will heal those wounds.
I guess Halloween is in a few days. Thats ok. Then I have a doc appt on Wednesday to try and put some of my worries to rest.
Anyway, gonna try and do this blog thing weekly let you know about some of the shit going down in my life...oh and the good stuff as well. Chris is probably the best thing. I love him so much!!
Im out ! Peace!
I think the biggest problem I have right now is the fact that I dont get to talk to Chris everynight which makes me miss him a lot more.
I think I am going to burst from insanity waiting so long for him to get back here and for me to see him again. I hate being away from him this long, and I hate not getting to talk to him everynight....but listen...I am not going to give up. Knowing that Im doing stuff and that hes thinking about me gets me through another day. Also, knowing that I am soon going to be with him helps too. Whenever he calls me, it puts a smile on my face...espeically after an incredibly shitty day!
So no matter what, I love him and I am never going to let go. My heart is so sure of this.
I have had an incredibly shitty week...well this week is a little bit better then last week. Things seem to be looking up for me......last week was just bad thing after bad thing happening. Im so thankful for a lot of things. There are still some things that are going to put me down in the dumps thou and I guess only time will heal those wounds.
I guess Halloween is in a few days. Thats ok. Then I have a doc appt on Wednesday to try and put some of my worries to rest.
Anyway, gonna try and do this blog thing weekly let you know about some of the shit going down in my life...oh and the good stuff as well. Chris is probably the best thing. I love him so much!!
Im out ! Peace!
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Cough, sniff,...ewww
I have the flu...I feel like shit....what else is there to say?
About that anyway. My head feels like a balloon with about eighty 100 pound rocks in it....I am hoping that some medication will make me feel a little bit better.
Anyway, the past few days have been ok. Work was a little frusterating on Saturday night for reasons that I just dont feel like getting into. Im hoping that we dont have to much of a problem with it though. Guess we'll find out next week.
But I dont have to worry about it after December! Wa-hoo. Yeh, they'll know by my birthday...how great is that!!! I think its superb. I mean, all in all, the job wasnt that bad, and yes, it had its moments, but I really do need a change, which Im so ready to have now!
So, the talk with mom and dad went ok. They were good about it. A lot better then what I thought that they would be! Sweet deal if you ask me.
I must be upfront now and tell you what I feel. I know I met Chris a little over a month ago (about a month and a half now) but, the connection we have is so strong, and I have great feelings about it. If I even felt a little bit doubtful, I wouldnt make this big change in my life....but I feel good. :) I feel realy good.
I love him with everything I have...and with all of my heart!
And I know he feels the same way about me!
So wake me up when December comes :)..its going to be a long two months!
Owww...I just sniffed and my head felt like it was going to explode........pooooooop.
Anyway, not much more to write. Going to go feed my puppy and get ready for work, so peace y'all!
Oh by the way...I would like to thank my dearest closest friends such as Tiff, who was very concerned and supportive about my decision. I said it before but I really do appreciate the advice.
About that anyway. My head feels like a balloon with about eighty 100 pound rocks in it....I am hoping that some medication will make me feel a little bit better.
Anyway, the past few days have been ok. Work was a little frusterating on Saturday night for reasons that I just dont feel like getting into. Im hoping that we dont have to much of a problem with it though. Guess we'll find out next week.
But I dont have to worry about it after December! Wa-hoo. Yeh, they'll know by my birthday...how great is that!!! I think its superb. I mean, all in all, the job wasnt that bad, and yes, it had its moments, but I really do need a change, which Im so ready to have now!
So, the talk with mom and dad went ok. They were good about it. A lot better then what I thought that they would be! Sweet deal if you ask me.
I must be upfront now and tell you what I feel. I know I met Chris a little over a month ago (about a month and a half now) but, the connection we have is so strong, and I have great feelings about it. If I even felt a little bit doubtful, I wouldnt make this big change in my life....but I feel good. :) I feel realy good.
I love him with everything I have...and with all of my heart!
And I know he feels the same way about me!
So wake me up when December comes :)..its going to be a long two months!
Owww...I just sniffed and my head felt like it was going to explode........pooooooop.
Anyway, not much more to write. Going to go feed my puppy and get ready for work, so peace y'all!
Oh by the way...I would like to thank my dearest closest friends such as Tiff, who was very concerned and supportive about my decision. I said it before but I really do appreciate the advice.
Sunday, October 09, 2005
A survey....thanks Tiff :)
Four songs you get stuck in your head frequently:
1.) Pon De Replay…..awesome beat
2.) Better Be Home Soon…good memories from that one
3.) Dare You to Move….more good memories
4.) He Wasn’t….cuz I love it anyway
Four things you’d like to learn:
1.) I’d like to better my piano skills
2.) Math…..haha
3.) To stand up for what I believe in.
4.) To dance really good.
Four vacations you have taken:
1.) Last month up NS for my sisters wedding…best vaycay EVER!
2.) Disney World when I was 8
3.) Away from work, and that’s always a good thing
4.) NS when I was younger as well
Four beverages you drink frquently:
1.) Water
2.) Pepsi
3.) Kool-aid
4.) Beer (?)
Four tv shows that were on when you were a kid:
1.) Punky Brewster
2.) My Pet Monster….hahaha
3.) Jem
4.) Facts of Life
Four places to go to in your area:
1.) The Rec Room
2.) The other club
3.) The groceries…..haha
4.) The youth centre…..double haha
Four things to do when you are bored:
1.) Read
2.) Chat with friends
3.) Watch movies
4.) Drink
Four things that never fail to cheer you up
1.) Chris
2.) Chocolate
3.) Good friends with advice
4.) Dancing
About 20 years ago I was:
1.) 5
2.) Going to school for the first time
3.) Blond
4.) A happy little girl
About 15 years ago I was:
1.) 10
2.) In grade 5 or 6
3.) Made fun of :(
4.) Lovin’ hockey
About 10 years ago I was:
1.) 15
2.) Crazy over a guy named Colin
3.) In grade 11
4.) Hating math
About 5 years ago I was:
1.) 20
2.) Unemployed
3.) Dating a dick!
4.) Still going to college
About 3 years ago I was:
1.) 22
2.) Going steady with Phil
3.) Working at the youth centre full time
4.) Upset (for reasons)
About one year ago I was:
1.) 24
2.) Having doubts about my steady
3.) Having doubts about my job
4.) Wishing I were somewhere else
Today…
1.) I am waiting for Turkey
2.) I am waiting for 930 to call Chris
3.) I am in love
4.) I am patiently waiting the big change
1.) Pon De Replay…..awesome beat
2.) Better Be Home Soon…good memories from that one
3.) Dare You to Move….more good memories
4.) He Wasn’t….cuz I love it anyway
Four things you’d like to learn:
1.) I’d like to better my piano skills
2.) Math…..haha
3.) To stand up for what I believe in.
4.) To dance really good.
Four vacations you have taken:
1.) Last month up NS for my sisters wedding…best vaycay EVER!
2.) Disney World when I was 8
3.) Away from work, and that’s always a good thing
4.) NS when I was younger as well
Four beverages you drink frquently:
1.) Water
2.) Pepsi
3.) Kool-aid
4.) Beer (?)
Four tv shows that were on when you were a kid:
1.) Punky Brewster
2.) My Pet Monster….hahaha
3.) Jem
4.) Facts of Life
Four places to go to in your area:
1.) The Rec Room
2.) The other club
3.) The groceries…..haha
4.) The youth centre…..double haha
Four things to do when you are bored:
1.) Read
2.) Chat with friends
3.) Watch movies
4.) Drink
Four things that never fail to cheer you up
1.) Chris
2.) Chocolate
3.) Good friends with advice
4.) Dancing
About 20 years ago I was:
1.) 5
2.) Going to school for the first time
3.) Blond
4.) A happy little girl
About 15 years ago I was:
1.) 10
2.) In grade 5 or 6
3.) Made fun of :(
4.) Lovin’ hockey
About 10 years ago I was:
1.) 15
2.) Crazy over a guy named Colin
3.) In grade 11
4.) Hating math
About 5 years ago I was:
1.) 20
2.) Unemployed
3.) Dating a dick!
4.) Still going to college
About 3 years ago I was:
1.) 22
2.) Going steady with Phil
3.) Working at the youth centre full time
4.) Upset (for reasons)
About one year ago I was:
1.) 24
2.) Having doubts about my steady
3.) Having doubts about my job
4.) Wishing I were somewhere else
Today…
1.) I am waiting for Turkey
2.) I am waiting for 930 to call Chris
3.) I am in love
4.) I am patiently waiting the big change
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Tomorrow is for turkeys
A week has come and gone and what a week it was. I was in a bit of a mood for most of the time, especially on Thursday.
I think its really starting to get to me....but it is almost the middle of October which means I only have another 2 months to go.
I watched a couple of hockey games this week. Yeh...I'm just not going to get into that cuz I am not a happy hockey fan....althou my man seems to think its funny how much I get into the games. Oh well...cant win em all I spose!
Anyway, as I have said before, I have gotten in moods all week....work isnt fun anymore and just being here isnt fun either....how much longer do I have to wait? Too damn long you ask me.
We had a dance last night which was a bit of switch. I didnt mind having it because it was something to pass away another night.....they always say dont wish away your time....but in this case, I dont think I can do anything but!
Today on the other wasnt the greatest......after 3:00 I didnt get a hell of a lot of sleep because there were drunk people walking down past my house and I got shit on my brain!!
Then work was....work..and i got so many worries....geez.
But that is another thing.
Anyway..I have nothing to say....or dont know how to say it so Im gonna go now, eat and watch a movie.
Tiff, as I have said in your comment. I like your survey, but before I use it I wnat to make sure its ok!!
Im gone!
Peace
I think its really starting to get to me....but it is almost the middle of October which means I only have another 2 months to go.
I watched a couple of hockey games this week. Yeh...I'm just not going to get into that cuz I am not a happy hockey fan....althou my man seems to think its funny how much I get into the games. Oh well...cant win em all I spose!
Anyway, as I have said before, I have gotten in moods all week....work isnt fun anymore and just being here isnt fun either....how much longer do I have to wait? Too damn long you ask me.
We had a dance last night which was a bit of switch. I didnt mind having it because it was something to pass away another night.....they always say dont wish away your time....but in this case, I dont think I can do anything but!
Today on the other wasnt the greatest......after 3:00 I didnt get a hell of a lot of sleep because there were drunk people walking down past my house and I got shit on my brain!!
Then work was....work..and i got so many worries....geez.
But that is another thing.
Anyway..I have nothing to say....or dont know how to say it so Im gonna go now, eat and watch a movie.
Tiff, as I have said in your comment. I like your survey, but before I use it I wnat to make sure its ok!!
Im gone!
Peace
Monday, October 03, 2005
Another week??? Oh my!
So it is Monday....not thrilled about another week of the same thing but thats it. Gotta put up with it until December...then its time for me...time for Chris....how good it is!
Yeh. I am really looking forward to Christmas more then any other year this year...for the most obvious reasons. Ah well...Its October now and we got a lot of things on the go and if I keep busy this month and next month, time will pass by in a flash. YAYY!
Anyway, this weekend wasnt too bad. A lot better then what I thought it was going to be! Friday night and all day Saturday actually passed by pretty damn quick. Thats probably because there were no little kids. Saturday night was a good laugh too.
Raylene and I went out to the club for some drinks...I needed em after the week I had. There was this guy named Nick who was there and he was buying us shots. I thought that was great of him.....however, the last shot did not agree with me. I must have drank it the wrong way because my throat hurt like a bitch after. Anyway, I went to the washroom to cough or something and the next thing I know.....well...you get the picture. I felt better afterwords though...stuck with the water then!
Yesterday on the other hand I didnt feel so great! I was sick for pretty much the whole day and my head was splitting! I would turn my head and I could feel the pressure so much. I was suppossed to cook Sunday supper and that didnt happen. I feel bad about it now too. Next weekend Im sposed to go drinking again but I've got a feeling that I wont be drinking half as much. Cant face another Sunday like that!
Things between Chris and I are great, despite the long distance. Cant wait to get up there and actually have a life or something. Im counting down the days.
Anyway, time to get my shit ready for work!
Peace!
Yeh. I am really looking forward to Christmas more then any other year this year...for the most obvious reasons. Ah well...Its October now and we got a lot of things on the go and if I keep busy this month and next month, time will pass by in a flash. YAYY!
Anyway, this weekend wasnt too bad. A lot better then what I thought it was going to be! Friday night and all day Saturday actually passed by pretty damn quick. Thats probably because there were no little kids. Saturday night was a good laugh too.
Raylene and I went out to the club for some drinks...I needed em after the week I had. There was this guy named Nick who was there and he was buying us shots. I thought that was great of him.....however, the last shot did not agree with me. I must have drank it the wrong way because my throat hurt like a bitch after. Anyway, I went to the washroom to cough or something and the next thing I know.....well...you get the picture. I felt better afterwords though...stuck with the water then!
Yesterday on the other hand I didnt feel so great! I was sick for pretty much the whole day and my head was splitting! I would turn my head and I could feel the pressure so much. I was suppossed to cook Sunday supper and that didnt happen. I feel bad about it now too. Next weekend Im sposed to go drinking again but I've got a feeling that I wont be drinking half as much. Cant face another Sunday like that!
Things between Chris and I are great, despite the long distance. Cant wait to get up there and actually have a life or something. Im counting down the days.
Anyway, time to get my shit ready for work!
Peace!
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Potato Chips and Koolaid for dinner...yum yum
I know what you are thinking! Thats not a very healthy lunch, but I dont really care. I am in super lazy mode today and the last thing I feel like doing is cooking something remotely close to a meal!
I should let you know that I am feeling better today then what I was yesterday...a little bit on the bored side and all, but that comes with having time off...and at least I dont have to deal with any kids today which is a bonus.
After all the worrying and stuff I was going through yesterday morning, a little light shone through the tunnel. Its all about my job to tell you the truth and I got a bit of a time to make this decision but I think my mind is close to made up. Im going to talk to Chris about it tonight to see what he thinks about it....to see if he thinks it makes sense....I think it do but I dont know what hes going to say! I just hope that he agrees. I was told about this yesterday..meanwhile 24 hours later I am still thinking about it.
I need to get out of there and I need time to myself so I dear say Im going to do it!
YAAAAAAY!!
I guess there is always a little light at the end of a long dark tunnel.
Anyway, time to go. Sorry for the short entry!
Peace!
I should let you know that I am feeling better today then what I was yesterday...a little bit on the bored side and all, but that comes with having time off...and at least I dont have to deal with any kids today which is a bonus.
After all the worrying and stuff I was going through yesterday morning, a little light shone through the tunnel. Its all about my job to tell you the truth and I got a bit of a time to make this decision but I think my mind is close to made up. Im going to talk to Chris about it tonight to see what he thinks about it....to see if he thinks it makes sense....I think it do but I dont know what hes going to say! I just hope that he agrees. I was told about this yesterday..meanwhile 24 hours later I am still thinking about it.
I need to get out of there and I need time to myself so I dear say Im going to do it!
YAAAAAAY!!
I guess there is always a little light at the end of a long dark tunnel.
Anyway, time to go. Sorry for the short entry!
Peace!
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
owwww...my head!
I have a massive headache and I cant seem to get rid of it. I had it last night...guess Im stressin about stuff again....that usually happens anyway when I have a lot on my mind!
For starters I am not in a great mood for a reason I just dont want to get into...sorry people. Thats just the way I am feeling right now.
And..I dont know...maybe I should just live with the fact that its going to be a few weeks before I see him again, but I find that impossible. I could be doing ok for awhile (you know, when Im doing something) but then wham! I get here and I start thinking about it and it just hurts so much inside.
Yesterday was a dull dull dull day! I was talking to Corey for a while which was good. I enjoy talking to you Corey. You too Tiff. I am hoping that you will come out some weekend soon to at least save some of my sanity because I AM going crazy here. If its not one thing its another.
I plan on going to see you guys hopefully the first weekend in November if things go my way!
(which rite now I doubt that they will)
I have so much on my plate..and its really only little problems but the little problems add up and become one massive headache.....I wish this headache would go away.
And somewhere between now and Christmas I have the break the news on what I plan on doing when I move. Not looking forward to that! If only I had some great guy to help me get through it, it would be alright!
I was up pretty late last night and early again this morning. So, Im already drained and I havnt even started working yet. Holy shit..I hate my job so much right now. Im not even sure how much more of it I can take but I do know that Im close to the edge of just saying "Screw this garbage." Yeh. Its THAT bad!
I know I sound really contrary, and I wish that there was something I could do to cheer myself up, but I dont know. All the bad news I got last night and the day before is really taking a toll on me and I am hoping and praying that I get some better news within the next couple of days because I cant handle any more bad news! I really really cant!
Anywho, I should go and get ready for work...gotta walk and all that jazz (yay)....that means more time to think and I honestly dont want to be at it.
Peace!
For starters I am not in a great mood for a reason I just dont want to get into...sorry people. Thats just the way I am feeling right now.
And..I dont know...maybe I should just live with the fact that its going to be a few weeks before I see him again, but I find that impossible. I could be doing ok for awhile (you know, when Im doing something) but then wham! I get here and I start thinking about it and it just hurts so much inside.
Yesterday was a dull dull dull day! I was talking to Corey for a while which was good. I enjoy talking to you Corey. You too Tiff. I am hoping that you will come out some weekend soon to at least save some of my sanity because I AM going crazy here. If its not one thing its another.
I plan on going to see you guys hopefully the first weekend in November if things go my way!
(which rite now I doubt that they will)
I have so much on my plate..and its really only little problems but the little problems add up and become one massive headache.....I wish this headache would go away.
And somewhere between now and Christmas I have the break the news on what I plan on doing when I move. Not looking forward to that! If only I had some great guy to help me get through it, it would be alright!
I was up pretty late last night and early again this morning. So, Im already drained and I havnt even started working yet. Holy shit..I hate my job so much right now. Im not even sure how much more of it I can take but I do know that Im close to the edge of just saying "Screw this garbage." Yeh. Its THAT bad!
I know I sound really contrary, and I wish that there was something I could do to cheer myself up, but I dont know. All the bad news I got last night and the day before is really taking a toll on me and I am hoping and praying that I get some better news within the next couple of days because I cant handle any more bad news! I really really cant!
Anywho, I should go and get ready for work...gotta walk and all that jazz (yay)....that means more time to think and I honestly dont want to be at it.
Peace!
Sunday, September 25, 2005
CRASH!!! Work damnit!
Yeh, my comp has been on the blink there the last few days and I had to get my boss to come save it for me once again. I'm soon going to say to hell with this computer and just invest in a new one. If only it were that simple, which it is not considering I am planning on getting the hell out of this hole in the very near future and I need money to do so.
I dont like my home town anymore. Day by day I wake up and realize there is absolutly nothing here for me. My job sucks, I might have three real friends here in all total, and I feel totally uncomfortable walking home from work..for very obvious reasons....which I shouldnt have to.
And the biggest thing that bums me out about this place is that fact that I am so far away from Chris. I tell myself that I can deal with it and that time is going to go by quicker then I think but then I just think about it and it totally puts me in a low mood. A lot of people could look at me and tell me I am really rushing into this, but I feel so strongly about him and I just know it is meant to be. I was told the other week that "I like people too easily". (this is not implied at my two closest friends from town). How the hell would this person know anyway? They dont know the feelings I get when I think of him. The way I feel about him...I dont know...I could laugh and cry and do everything all at the same time....and the way he proves that he cares for me? Thats so overwhelming, and I really like it.
He doesnt want to see me hurt...especially by the previous guy in my life. I know I am ranting on again about him, but my feelings for him are so unstoppable..and I hope they never end.
As for the other guy.....I wrote him an email and told him how I felt, how much he hurt me and told him to move on with his life because I have! It was something I had to do...I am not the type of person to go and intentionally hurt someone else....but the way it was going was getting out of hand!
Anyway, I have to work again pretty much all week which Im not looking forward to. That really doesnt seem like fun. Cant hack the same thing over for another week. I could cry thinking about it.
I guess I should go now thou. Gettin hungry and I been at this computer all night almost.
Comment me. Tell me what you think!
More hopefully tomorrow or the next day!
Peace
I dont like my home town anymore. Day by day I wake up and realize there is absolutly nothing here for me. My job sucks, I might have three real friends here in all total, and I feel totally uncomfortable walking home from work..for very obvious reasons....which I shouldnt have to.
And the biggest thing that bums me out about this place is that fact that I am so far away from Chris. I tell myself that I can deal with it and that time is going to go by quicker then I think but then I just think about it and it totally puts me in a low mood. A lot of people could look at me and tell me I am really rushing into this, but I feel so strongly about him and I just know it is meant to be. I was told the other week that "I like people too easily". (this is not implied at my two closest friends from town). How the hell would this person know anyway? They dont know the feelings I get when I think of him. The way I feel about him...I dont know...I could laugh and cry and do everything all at the same time....and the way he proves that he cares for me? Thats so overwhelming, and I really like it.
He doesnt want to see me hurt...especially by the previous guy in my life. I know I am ranting on again about him, but my feelings for him are so unstoppable..and I hope they never end.
As for the other guy.....I wrote him an email and told him how I felt, how much he hurt me and told him to move on with his life because I have! It was something I had to do...I am not the type of person to go and intentionally hurt someone else....but the way it was going was getting out of hand!
Anyway, I have to work again pretty much all week which Im not looking forward to. That really doesnt seem like fun. Cant hack the same thing over for another week. I could cry thinking about it.
I guess I should go now thou. Gettin hungry and I been at this computer all night almost.
Comment me. Tell me what you think!
More hopefully tomorrow or the next day!
Peace
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Get Over It!
My computer is incredibly slow once again tonight. I dont know what the hell is wrong with it, but oh well, what the hell are you goin to do?
My mouse also really sucks.
Anyway, the last two or three days have been good...well today at towards the middle on was not the greatest.
Chris arrived here around 4:30 on Monday...surprising me because he called me up and told me he was still home while he was in my driveway the whole time. Those are the types of surprises I like!
Anyway, for a while we just relaxed and talked for a while. Then we got supper on the go....he wanted ME to cook. Yeeeeh! My thoughts exactly. They got a great laugh at me mixing the meat and stuff...Chris especially! But they turned out alright, so I cant really complain. After supper we walked to the yc so that I could show him that wonderful establishment in which I work, dropped in the liqour store, and came back here to watch a movie. Im not sure why I bought the coolers....I didnt even drink em...maybe I had no intention of drinking em...I dont even know.
We eventually said good night and went on to bed. It really sucked that he was just next door to me...only inches away and I couldn't be with him.....so.....frigin..unreachable!
The next day, I was out of bed by 830 and down stairs with Chris. And then by 1100 we were driving to Marystown. The whole day we pretty much spent together, just being with each other which is exactly what we wanted. At one point after supper he even called my sister and started to give her a hard time.
Today was sad. I mean that really. I was really sooky because I didnt want him to leave....Im even having a bit of a hard time writing this now. We went and had lunch, came back to the house, and just sat with one another.
And at 138 (or something) I had to leave him until December....it honestly felt like cadet camp all over again. Im so attached to this guy and even thou I got hurt in the last relationship and my heart is a little wary, I still feel good about this relationship. So for the next few days its going to be hard to be away from him....because this will be the first time since I met him that we are going to be apart for more then a week. Three fucken months...I cant make it for three days, let alone three months.
And more then anything right now, I just want to get away from here. C is really rubbing me the wrong way..he wont get over it. I need time to sort through my feelings after what he said on the other blogs....it hurt me so much. I know I hurt him, but the hurt I gave him was unintentional.
Anyway, I guess I should attempt sleep. Its going to be hard considering I am so....down....but I have the phone calls to look forward to and I also have December, which I really am looking foward to.
He means everything to me! He really does.
Peace Out!
My mouse also really sucks.
Anyway, the last two or three days have been good...well today at towards the middle on was not the greatest.
Chris arrived here around 4:30 on Monday...surprising me because he called me up and told me he was still home while he was in my driveway the whole time. Those are the types of surprises I like!
Anyway, for a while we just relaxed and talked for a while. Then we got supper on the go....he wanted ME to cook. Yeeeeh! My thoughts exactly. They got a great laugh at me mixing the meat and stuff...Chris especially! But they turned out alright, so I cant really complain. After supper we walked to the yc so that I could show him that wonderful establishment in which I work, dropped in the liqour store, and came back here to watch a movie. Im not sure why I bought the coolers....I didnt even drink em...maybe I had no intention of drinking em...I dont even know.
We eventually said good night and went on to bed. It really sucked that he was just next door to me...only inches away and I couldn't be with him.....so.....frigin..unreachable!
The next day, I was out of bed by 830 and down stairs with Chris. And then by 1100 we were driving to Marystown. The whole day we pretty much spent together, just being with each other which is exactly what we wanted. At one point after supper he even called my sister and started to give her a hard time.
Today was sad. I mean that really. I was really sooky because I didnt want him to leave....Im even having a bit of a hard time writing this now. We went and had lunch, came back to the house, and just sat with one another.
And at 138 (or something) I had to leave him until December....it honestly felt like cadet camp all over again. Im so attached to this guy and even thou I got hurt in the last relationship and my heart is a little wary, I still feel good about this relationship. So for the next few days its going to be hard to be away from him....because this will be the first time since I met him that we are going to be apart for more then a week. Three fucken months...I cant make it for three days, let alone three months.
And more then anything right now, I just want to get away from here. C is really rubbing me the wrong way..he wont get over it. I need time to sort through my feelings after what he said on the other blogs....it hurt me so much. I know I hurt him, but the hurt I gave him was unintentional.
Anyway, I guess I should attempt sleep. Its going to be hard considering I am so....down....but I have the phone calls to look forward to and I also have December, which I really am looking foward to.
He means everything to me! He really does.
Peace Out!
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Incredibly Hyper
Yes. so tru. Its really late in the night and even thou it has been a long 3 days I am still on top of the world!
Right now I am so elated (is that the correct word?) that nothing could bring me down. I guess not anyway...not right now anyway.
I just got off the phone with Chris for the third time since 7:00 (he called me, I called him...etc etc.) and even thou I say "soooooo" alot because I dont know what to say to him, it still feels great to talk to him!
I've never felt like this in ages. And it feels so frigin wonderful! So I dont care anymore...I have to declare it. World, I am in looooove. There is no other way to describe it!
Im goin to talk about my trip to St. Johns and since now!
The bus ride was so bumpy and it was incredibly hard to get to sleep....I was after bein awake at 5:30 because I was so gosh durn excited. Also I had a lot of things on my mind, basically what was said to me on my previous blogs....that upset me alot.
But, I knew that when I seen Chris' face all my bad feelings would go away...and that they did!
We spent an amazing day and night together.....just bein together...just bein near him.
I also seen my awesome best friend Tiff....Tiff I love ya girl..I had a great time with you....minus that potent beer that I had to "force" you to drink....Corey...wish I seen you buddy! hopefully in Oct.
But getting back on topic. When Wednesday rolled around (which I didnt want it to) we lazed around and stuff for a while, had lunch, and then headed out to the mall. It was hard saying good bye (at least until Monday) and of course, all I thought of was him on the way home.
I really cant wait until Monday.
I seen Clint the other day on the way home from work. We talked but it felt really awkward for me, so I am still a bundle of mixed emotions on that. I know we will never be together again.
But its late and I still have things to do, so peace!
Right now I am so elated (is that the correct word?) that nothing could bring me down. I guess not anyway...not right now anyway.
I just got off the phone with Chris for the third time since 7:00 (he called me, I called him...etc etc.) and even thou I say "soooooo" alot because I dont know what to say to him, it still feels great to talk to him!
I've never felt like this in ages. And it feels so frigin wonderful! So I dont care anymore...I have to declare it. World, I am in looooove. There is no other way to describe it!
Im goin to talk about my trip to St. Johns and since now!
The bus ride was so bumpy and it was incredibly hard to get to sleep....I was after bein awake at 5:30 because I was so gosh durn excited. Also I had a lot of things on my mind, basically what was said to me on my previous blogs....that upset me alot.
But, I knew that when I seen Chris' face all my bad feelings would go away...and that they did!
We spent an amazing day and night together.....just bein together...just bein near him.
I also seen my awesome best friend Tiff....Tiff I love ya girl..I had a great time with you....minus that potent beer that I had to "force" you to drink....Corey...wish I seen you buddy! hopefully in Oct.
But getting back on topic. When Wednesday rolled around (which I didnt want it to) we lazed around and stuff for a while, had lunch, and then headed out to the mall. It was hard saying good bye (at least until Monday) and of course, all I thought of was him on the way home.
I really cant wait until Monday.
I seen Clint the other day on the way home from work. We talked but it felt really awkward for me, so I am still a bundle of mixed emotions on that. I know we will never be together again.
But its late and I still have things to do, so peace!
Thursday, September 15, 2005
I'm not sure why theres no title thing for this blog, but Id like to call it, "New blog, new beginning".
I needed to start a new blog because the old one was just reminders of how things used to be and it kept getting rehashed over and over again, so I need a change. And change is what Im going to get.
This is not going to be a long blog because I am due at work in approx 50 minutes, and I have to walk and go to the drugstore, plus Im thinking about renting a movie so that I dont go completely insane tonight after I get my phone call! There is going to be a lot of boring nights ahead of me, I can see it. But CHANGE IS GOOD!
To all my friends who have supported me thank you so much! Your kind words and advice have been a great help to me.
But to those who thought I was doin the world wrong, well, I dont know what to say.
Anyway, I am going to go now. Time is short. more tonight! Peace!
I needed to start a new blog because the old one was just reminders of how things used to be and it kept getting rehashed over and over again, so I need a change. And change is what Im going to get.
This is not going to be a long blog because I am due at work in approx 50 minutes, and I have to walk and go to the drugstore, plus Im thinking about renting a movie so that I dont go completely insane tonight after I get my phone call! There is going to be a lot of boring nights ahead of me, I can see it. But CHANGE IS GOOD!
To all my friends who have supported me thank you so much! Your kind words and advice have been a great help to me.
But to those who thought I was doin the world wrong, well, I dont know what to say.
Anyway, I am going to go now. Time is short. more tonight! Peace!
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